How Ya Doing?

Have you ever passed someone in the hall or store aisle and they asked the question  "Hey! How Ya doing?" or "How's it going?" and kept on walking, not waiting to hear an answer?  Maybe you've had this happen to you or maybe you've done this to someone else.  I've heard it from the check-out lady, salespeople, passing strangers, and I'm sure I've said it more than a few times,  and but over the years I've really come to really dislike that phrase.  I know that it's just a friendly, casual greeting, but maybe it irks me because I know that even though someone may be asking,

A guy at church (we've known him for close to 18 yrs.) that uses this phrase very frequently.
         Sometimes I look at him and just ask "Do you really want to know?"
         "Not really" is his reply, with a shrug of the shoulders, as he keeps walking. 


Maybe people really don't want to know how you're really doing, so why use such a meaningless phrase. 

•  Maybe a nod of the head
• a smile
• Good Morning/Afternoon/evening
• I haven't met you yet, I'm ____,
• "Nice/Good to see you"  (if it's not nice to see them, what do you say?) 
• "Good Day"
• "I think we've already met" (I never can remember people's names, but their faces I can. This reminds of of the movie The movie  50 First Dates (2004), though I don't recommend it).

Henry Roth is a man afraid of commitment up until he meets the beautiful Lucy. They hit it off and Henry think he's finally found the girl of his dreams, until he discovers she has short-term memory loss and forgets him the very next day. 

So what is the point? I know there are hurting people out there (I've been there) and if you ask this question, are you ready to really know?  Maybe that listening ear or the attention/respect you give for a few minutes will make all the difference to someone's day/week. Just knowing that someone really cares or that if they say they will be praying for you, you know they will. What alternative do you have and how do you greet people? I really want to know.

Heart Problems

We have a noise problem in our house.  Granted we can have 5-6 kids here at any time, we live in a very busy road, and in the late afternoon, the front door is used more than a doggy door, but the noise problem is in our hearts. 

 

  lout -

pout - to look or be sullen 

flout - treat with contempt; scorn

bout

clout

rout -to force or drive out

eye

sup

good

mood

broodTo focus the attention on a subject persistently and moodily;
worry: brooded over the insult for several days.

This seems like such a simple list of spelling words, but hidden within it are words that God is using to work on me this week. Do you see the ones in bold face?   Yesterday, I was failing miserably with the mission God has given to me.  He has given me grace, love, mercy, and yet I felt my jaw clench, my mind wandering, and my forehead wrinkling. Not good.  The words coming from my mouth were not gracious, loving, or merciful.

Youngest and I had a talk this morning about the words from our mouths and our actions will void anything we say or do to influence others to Christ if our actions are not consistent.  We have both struggled with showing a great deal of consistent love/friendship towards the student I have.  We don't have an excuse, but we agreed that we both need to work on it because we might be the only chance for him to hear the Message.  It's really easy to show love to the girls - they're babies/toddlers, but God has put this young boy in our lives for a purpose.  It may not make sense, but it's our mission. 

I know I posted this last week, but here it is again:

Keli from Internet Cafe Devotions stated:
  "I hear Jesus whispering in my ear, “Abide in me. Don’t let your circumstances define you or expect them to nurture you. Don’t sit back and hope the rains will come. Set your roots deep into me. Listen to me, follow me, love me. When you do, I promise you’ll not only survive, but you’ll thrive. When you’re…

…filled with sorrow, rest in me.

…overcome with worry, trust in me.

…drowning in despair, follow me.

…thirsting for a fresh word, listen to me.

…dabbling with doubt, obey me.

…a swirl with apathy, seek me.”

Scoldings be GONE!

Last night, as I was reading, the topic of Scolding came up.   Do you remember any scoldings you've received?  I remember one I got from an elderly lady at church for using the padded cushy chairs instead of the metal folding chairs... Made me feel angry toward her for a week.  Why? 

What does it mean? Scolding means to reprimand or criticize harshly or angrily.   The Free Dictionary defines it as: Remonstrate with or rebuke (someone) angrily.  These seem to be saying that it is disrespectful, annoying, and is considered a put-down.

I must confess that I'm way too guilty of this - especially with my kids, mostly when they were younger. I'm not too sure how many young moms have not lit into their kids, mostly in frustration, and scolded them. I'm sure I've scolded a few kids that aren't mine when I've caught them doing something they shouldn't. ugh! 

Who have I scolded?  My kids, strangers (least you think I'm totally out of control, I scold other driver and have called them an "idiot" in front of my kids ), tech support people, the dog when she gets in the trash or eats kitty poo, my husband...   Do I really believe this is going to help anything?  I can tell you, our poor German Shepard knows when she's done something wrong while we're gone.  We can tell by the way she tucks her tail and scoots off to her doggy bed.  I know that scolding just makes the one receiving it, a tad bit angry and resentful.  Why would I want to cause someone to feel this way?  I don't! 

But does scolding anyone really do any good? Have you ever been scolded into good behavior? Has a good scolding softened your heart toward God and the other person? No, I'll bet not.   I think that some Christians have switched the 12 disciples for the 7 dwarfs, and take numbers to be the designated "grumpy." Some think that it is a necessary organizational behavior to grump on board (ever heard someone say that they are just being the "devil's advocate?") and scold others for their stupid mistakes and inept behavior. Scorn too often becomes the seasoning and flavor of conversations among Christians...    Donn Johnson, Santa Barbara pastor, on his post "Scolding for Jesus?"

 God, I really need to stop being a fault finding person!  Please help me!  Do I really want my boys to grow and marry someone like me?  I've not been the best model and need to revamp my personality and words.

  "An excellent/worthy wife is the crown of her husband,
 But she who shames him is like rottenness/cancer in his bones."  
  Proverbs 12:4 (New American Standard Bible)

Proverbs 12:15  states:  "Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others." 

 Yikes!   Just thinking back, I can be a pretty harsh person with my words, so right now, I'm looking for a rock to crawl under.  

THINK:  Is what I'm about to say or do going to come across as respectful or disrespectful? 

 Proverbs 13:3 Those who control their tongue will have a long life, opening your mouth can ruin everything.

Feed Me Books Friday: Give Me A Little Character!

This week I chose some books that dealt with character, something we, as parents, may constantly work on with our children and ourselves.  Here are some colorfully illustrated and simple books to help your kids understand this a little easier and even apply it to their lives! 



 Dinner in the Lions' Den by Bob Hartman










A very humorous look at what might have happened to Daniel after he was thrown into the lions' den by his enemies.  I loved the colorfully light-hearted illustrations and how the angel used clever solutions to protect Daniel. I think this will help kids to understand a story they have heard many times of faith and redemption!



Cookies: Bite-Size Life Lessons by Amy Krouse Rosenthal  Once again, I was drawn to an Rosenthal book and I was not disappointed. This is a type of a dictionary that defines words as "fair" and "unfair", "proud" and "modest", "open-minded" and "regret", "greedy" and "generous" and many more using beautiful, yet simple, illustrations to text easy enough for our children to understand.  A great book to use with your children when discussing different characteristics that we possess or even life lessons to everyday events.

Gigi: God's Little Princess by Sheila Walsh
As we have talked to our kids about God, we have told them they are Children of the King, God.  So that makes them royalty right?  That's what little Gigi has realized, but she has a problem.  She doesn't feel like, live like, or look like a princess.  She tries to ACT like a princess by "rulling over her subject" (cat, friend, parents), and soon discovers what it really means to be a Daughter of the King.

In  Quick as a Cricket by Audrey Wood, Don and Audrey Wood have proven to be a powerful and creative writing team with Napping House, Piggies, The Deep Blue Sea, and many others with their colorful illustrations and fun writing style. My children are HUGE fans of Napping House, even as teenagers!





In this book, the use of comparisons with colorful pictures convey each thought completely and easily:  Weak as a kitten, sad as a basset,small as an ant, nice as a bunny, shy as a shrimp, wild as a chimp, and more before ending with "Put it all together, and you've got ME!" 
A great book to read with your child and let them make their own comparisons or even their own book with illustrations they've drawn.

Revelation: 17:14 
"... because He is Lord of lords and King of kings, and those who are with Him are the called and chosen and faithful."

** If you'd like to read more reviews of mom recommended books, head on over to Adventrues of Motherhood for Feed-Me-Books Friday. She is taking break during July from Feed Me Books Friday, but has graciously invited some FMBF regulars to Guest Host. So come back here next Friday and link up as I Guest Host FMBF, one of my favorite memes!  Can't wait to see you then!