Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Great Expectations

Do you remember reading Great Expectations in high school?  Pip, the orphan, had much suffering and sadness in his life, but attempted to overcome it and become a gentleman. Many of the detail are fuzzy now that I've been out of school for mumble mumble years, but I remember the wealthy spinster and her spoiled adopted daughter. There were so many tangled and mangled lives in that story.

What does God do with tangled and mangled lives?  How does He get us from a jumbled mess to something that He meant for us to be?  You've heard me mention "W" a few times, and I have had jumbled expectations where he is concerned.  With five days off from school, I was really anxious to get back into it, but some was with trepidations.  He  went for more testing last week at a developmental testing center and in my heart, I was praying they would bring back a certain diagnosis - ADD with Aspergers. I was not disappointed.  I've suspected this actually since I first started teaching him and have been pushing his father towards evaluations and therapy. It has been a long two years.

Now what?  Should my expectations change now that there is an official diagnosis?  I'm not sure.  I've made so many major modifications as it is and I'm spending an enormous amount of my teaching time focused on him, redirecting, .  By the end of the day I'm worn out. I know that when he starts on his ADD meds (his father says that will be next week YIPPEEE!), that will help with the major focus issues, but what about the rest? Sometimes I feel like I'm drowning in repetition. Math alone takes 2 hours, his handwriting is that of a 1-2nd grader, after two years of reviewing he still does not know his multiplication tables,... 

Please God help me with this tangled boy that needs my help.  Please show me what to do without losing my mind. Please show me how to reach him, sometimes I'm at a loss of knowing if I'm heading in the right direction.
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Lynnet, I don't know much about this disease. It sounds like you were prepared for the diagnosis. I will be praying for you, as you mentioned here. . . big decisions and for clear direction.

I hope you can find some schooling ideas that help and are also good for you and your own health.

I am sorry, this sounds very stressful. Your precious W - praying for him, too.


Raine said...

Hey sweet cousin. What a challenge God has given you. I know you well enough to know that you are worried about letting this young man down. You want him to succeed but you're feeling the pressure of "what if he doesn't" and "is it my fault?" You've already succeeded by being in his life & pushing his father to have him tested. They are so lucky they have you. You will be this boy's angel. Think back about the challenges you've gone through with Youngest that has given you experience & training for this job adventure you are facing now with "H". God knows what you can & can not handle. So whenever you want to scream that you give up, remember, God will release you from this teaching position with "H" when He is ready. Remember that. He will release you when the time is right. What I'm trying to say, you are doing a wonderful job with him. No, it is not easy & probably not rewarding as we sometimes would like, but God must believe in you since He still has "H" placed in your care.