Sunday, June 1, 2014

Just call me cupcake

We HAD to add some color!
Cupcake stake
It was a celebration time and we NEEDED some kind of fun, celebrating that all four girls made it down the wedding aisle - three flower girls and then there is the bride and her daddy. So how does one go about celebrating this pre-school reason;  Our solution?  make cupcakes!  There were no ordinary cupcakes... They were THEIR cupcakes.  
Poor Miss C couldn't decided which color to decide on
cupcake complete with SPRINKLES

icing on the cupcake, icing in the hair

Hmmm, I'm gotta lick that knife.....

Sprinkles, sprinkles, sprinkles

How many licks to the center of the cupcake?
I licked off the icing - Done!!! 

Yummo!  Starting on my second one and feel

Colorful inside

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Only's Wedding preview teaser

Family Fun
One "last" dinner with the kids

Our blank starting point

Almost  Done

Surrounded by family and friends in prayer

Behind Door #__?
The Barker Girls hard at work creating beautiful bouquets, corsages, boutonnieres (using riffle shells) and more!  They were amazing!!!

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Hold on tight!

Ever been involved in a car chase? Me neither, but maybe the events of the day seem so hectic that all you can do is grasp for something to hold on to?  Lately, it seems that life is going at lighting speed fast - like on a twisty wooden roller coaster. Noisy, fast, and there is no way to get off until the ride is over.  I actually love roller coasters - the thrill of the ups, downs, twist and turns.  

Our daughter, Only, is getting married next Saturday.  Counting less than seven days!  I

Oldest is home from Bible college for a little while.  We are all so joyful to have him back, even it's only for a few weeks.  I love hearing our boys playing games in the living room, laughing and giving each other good natured jabs... 

Hmmmmm,  who is that cute brunett he's got his arm around???  

I'm taking my first ever requested vacation days from work, so we can work on wedding stuff.  Not sure I'm quite mentally ready, but we will see!  She has been working steadily on packing up her room... *Sigh...*   

I've been staying up late working on the flower girl dresses. Still much to do. 
Isn't Miss C so cute?  Want to make a guess  on if she will really make it down the aisle?    Honey has been working on the special rifle bullet boutenerre holders, and the antique doors being used on the stage areas.  
This week, it's blue mason jar, work, and then who knows what... 

Been visiting Mom each day and we have really seen the decline since thanksgiving.   Night nurses are our favorites because they treat each resident on A-Hall (Alzheimer's Hall) like family.  Sometimes we take our German Shepard (everyone thinks se is perfect),  but most times we take a jr  malt from braums.  Anything to try to get her to eat.  

Oh boy, I've suddenly become tired and it's almost midnight!!!  

Till another time, 

Monday, February 24, 2014

Heavy heart

Can I be honest?  I've been struggling for more than a yr. with this, and it's not like I didn't know this was coming, and there are days that I feel so very guilty about feeling inadequate about dealing with this.  This is a first for our family. It seems like there is someone you know that is going through it, but then it happens and suddenly, it happening to you and it's personal. Seems like whatever you are going through, it is now your crisis, your life, your stress, and your time to learn about new  unfamiliar and experiences.  Suddenly, it consumes you - learning, living, loving, losing.

Our family has been through a few events that have challenged us, our faith, and pushed the boundaries.  I'll not make excuses, this rises to the top of those, unequal and equal, strangely in it's own way with the physical and mental tension/strain daily. I'm not sure how cancer, stroke, sudden death, miscarriage, unfaithfulness, losing a parent, moving, or winning the lottery effect the dynamics of a family.  We just know what we've experienced.  Sometimes I feel it consumes us and it scares me.  There are days that I want to have things "normal" - normal marriage, kids, faith, stress, friendships, jobs, evenings, meals... Honey and I would love to go on a date where it's not the whole focus of our conversations or the purpose we are getting out of the house.  Comfortable.  Comfortable doesn't stretch or help us grow, learn, or have the chance to change who we are or how we feel. It makes me uncomfortable with what I see in myself.  It reminds me at times of a childhood experience where I almost drowned - clawing to find my way to the surface, fighting, gasping...  Other times, it reminds me of the joy of watching a young child discover new things and experiences. 

Our family has experienced grace, love, beautiful encouragement and support in many forms.  Thankfully, it takes more than blood to make a family - and we have been surrounded by such a family,  and sometimes God places those we are blood related to, so closely in our lives that are are more like a sibling that have worked beside us in this. God constantly is there.  We know He has never left us and never will.  He knew about this far before we ever were and He knows... He knows when I'm angry, sad, totally overwhelmed, had a good day or felt like I've done battle all day.  He knows when I feel like I can do this or I just want to run away and it's only 9 a.m. and no amount of McDonald's sweet tea will help.  It's what I crave when I feel like detaching and things are out of control. 

I'm really sad about the effect it has on our family dynamics and that our kids are experiencing this first hand. I know this is only a season and we will survive, with much support and love.  Many are praying and ask what they can do, and we honestly don't know.  We are learning as we go.  Wisdom, direction, peace, unity, love, grace, strength, focus, humor...

God, thank you for going before us. Surprise us, and help us to look daily for You.  We can't do this alone

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Once upon a snowy day

 Their pudgy noses pressed against the front door.  For once Oldest and Only were not in time out, but desperately searching for a sign.  Silently they waited in their fleece footie jammies, little hands against the glass feeling the cold outside world, leaving fingerprints low on the glass.  Their breath fogging up their view as the sun peaked over the treetops, a silhouetting orange glow framed their silent limbs.  

"Mommy!  I see it!" they called anxiously beckoning me to them.  Joining them, I peered into the morning light, searching with them for what they imagined.

There, floating lazily down to touch the yard's cold, barren cover, was a lone snowflake, giving hope and laughter to two small kids.  Their lips turned upward as the corners of their eyes wrinkled, their smiles reaching their sparkling eyes while their hands wiped at the foggy glass.

"Sissy!  Did you see it?"
"Bubba, I see it!  Can we go out?"
" Oh!  There's another one and another!" 

By now their little feet are dancing and hands clapping in anticipation, questioning faces looking up at me.

That was so long ago, but so freshly pressed in my mind as I watched the sweet wonder of The Girls fairly dancing at the door watching snowflake after snowflake joining together to form a beautiful white carpet on our yard.  While my the fingerprints of my own children are no longer low on the glass, I now leave new little finger prints on the glass as a reminder of the innocent joy they express at that first sign of snow.
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Saturday, February 22, 2014

Grandma Wilson's Grilled cheese and soup

White chipped bowls on the counter sat beside the two empty cans of Campbells Tomato Soup. The soup, simmering on the glowing flame of Grandma Wilson's  worn stove in a sturdy, yet aged silver sauce pan.  

Taking out six slices of Wonder Bread and the fresh colby cheese, cut fresh that morning at the Post Office/General Store, she liberally applied a layer of Oleo on each piece before asking us to assemble the sandwiches. Grandma puttered into the breakfast room to her toaster oven, rattling the toaster oven tray as she arranged the slices of bread.  That toaster made the best toast!!!  Watching in anticipation, we stared in wonder as the bread turned from white to golden brown - right before our eyes!  

After pouring a bit of creamy tomato soup in our waiting bowls, she added a pat of fresh butter, and a shake or two of salt and pepper.  How I enjoyed dipping my grilled cheese sandwich into my bowl of soup.  

Closing my eyes,  I can still see her worn apron tied around her plump waist. Her black, graying hair up in pin curlers, and the love in her eyes.  She was the epitome of how I thought all grandmas should be and were.