Friday, December 30, 2011

I'm so what????

"There is nothing to writing.  All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed."  
                                                        Ernest Hemingway

I know that day comes - at some point in my parenting career (if you call it that).  I never expected it to hurt or thought it would happen.  Oh, I certainly don't think my kids mean to hurt me or mean it disrespectfully.  They're good, loving kids, and I know in my heart, that someday their own kids will probably do the same, but I don't want them to have that part of their heart rips feeling. Maybe I'm just being oversensitive. Most of the time I laugh it off and say it's my job...

To be honest, I think most kids feel that their parents embarrass them at one point or another.  I was too terrified to tell mine, but I remember thinking it a few times.  Can't really remember the reason other than I was young.   

You'll probably tell me it's what happens when you have kids.  It's when your kids tell other people that you embarrass them.  It's worse yet, when they say it on FB.   For an instant I was tempted to remind them of the times they embarrassed us with those rare public tantrums they had when they were little.... But I haven't.

Just really makes me wonder how many times I've embarrassed God with my actions and yet He still loves me.  At least He doesn't blog about it, but then again, there is that small, not to quiet voice... I'm so thankful for His forgiveness and love.


Anonymous said...

I think FB gives it a bit of an added punch...and yes, they don't realize how much it hurts. I am learning these days with older kids that they grow up and become rather adept at word fighting. Hmmm....Who taught them to that? I see now how I must have wounded them as little children and never realized they were even bleeding because at a younger age they had fear or trying to "cut back" or just didn't quite have the vocabulary to do it with the same style as an adult. It does come back to haunt you and then the pain is from how much I must have done that to them at some point. Asking forgiveness becomes the first order of life with such insight.

Anonymous said...

I see I have a typo. I meant "who taught them to do that?" I also think that I typed that too fast. It doesn't make a lot of sense. I just realized for myself recently that my children wound me in ways I have wounded them. It was a bit of a revelation to me and I am ashamed and hurt that I hurt them so with my selfish words.