Friday, October 5, 2012

How Ya Doing?

Have you ever passed someone in the hall or store aisle and they asked the question  "Hey! How Ya doing?" or "How's it going?" and kept on walking, not waiting to hear an answer?  Maybe you've had this happen to you or maybe you've done this to someone else.  I've heard it from the check-out lady, salespeople, passing strangers, and I'm sure I've said it more than a few times,  and but over the years I've really come to really dislike that phrase.  I know that it's just a friendly, casual greeting, but maybe it irks me because I know that even though someone may be asking,

A guy at church (we've known him for close to 18 yrs.) that uses this phrase very frequently.
         Sometimes I look at him and just ask "Do you really want to know?"
         "Not really" is his reply, with a shrug of the shoulders, as he keeps walking. 

Maybe people really don't want to know how you're really doing, so why use such a meaningless phrase. 
  •  Maybe a nod of the head
  • a smile
  • Good Morning/Afternoon/evening
  • I haven't met you yet, I'm ____,
  • "Nice/Good to see you"  (if it's not nice to see them, what do you say?) 
  • "Good Day"
  • "I think we've already met" (I never can remember people's names, but their faces I can. This reminds of of the movie The movie  50 First Dates (2004), though I don't recommend it).

Henry Roth is a man afraid of commitment up until he meets the beautiful Lucy. They hit it off and Henry think he's finally found the girl of his dreams, until he discovers she has short-term memory loss and forgets him the very next day. 

So what is the point? I know there are hurting people out there (I've been there) and if you ask this question, are you ready to really know?  Maybe that listening ear or the attention/respect you give for a few minutes will make all the difference to someone's day/week. Just knowing that someone really cares or that if they say they will be praying for you, you know they will. What alternative do you have and how do you greet people? I really want to know.



really listening is hard work. thanks for the reminder.


Raine said...

All very true. Great post. I try to listen when I see a hurting heart. Most times, I'm just being polite but try to say Hello instead of asking How You doing. Have you ever been asked that question and then purposely not answered to see if they are even listening? Try it. You'll discover the ones who really means it when asked! Happy Thanksgiving!