Monday, November 19, 2018

Grateful worry

I have blog post running through my brain constantly, but they never seem to make it here.  Usually my brain has something zipping through it, especially at night when I'm trying to sleep.  I think it's part of being a mom and having to multi-task, and some inherited ADHD.  Needless to say, I have a notebook with my list with me constantly, so I can write things down when needed. I'll confess that when I do something that's not on the list, I'll write it down and then mark it off.  Tah dah!  I've gotten a lot done! 

Oldest and Mrs-to-Be
Lately, my brain has been filled with wedding stuff, mainly the rehearsal dinner, since the wedding is in less than 46 days. So my notebook has a few pages of list and diagrams of the room where we're doing the dinner, with things to do and check-off.  Items to be purchased, food that needs to be made, people that offered to help, items I don't want to forget...  Thankfully, we are not planing the whole wedding, and I have Only to help me, because I'm not great at this.  She is awesome with ideas and Pinterest is our best friend!  We've decided to do a few fun activities, if time permits, with Youngest as the Host, which will be perfect for him.  I think he is planning on doing a Roasting of Oldest, since he's not a groomsman.   I am thankful that Mrs-Oldest-to-Be has shared with me a few special moments, trying on her dress, bridal pictures, plans, etc.  Wedding shower is done, and they were very blessed during that time.  I think I'd like to get married again or renew our vow and register for gifts so we can replace our worn out stuff!  Doesn't that sound like a plan?  Maybe another time.  We have already moved Oldest in the apartment they will be sharing once they get married.  We told him, this was the third time we've moved him and next time, he needs to make some friends and enlist them to help!

We will be spending Thanksgiving with Honey's family, which is always a fun time.  We always have a card game or wahoo going on somewhere in the house, lots of food, and naps.  We can't forget the naps!   I am so thankful for oldest's nephew's wife and her organization each year, for my dear SIL and her laughter and encouragement, and for memories made.  She is a natural at organizing and  at making things so easy for the rest of us.  I can hardly wait to have all our kids in the same place and just enjoy family time.  It's the best thing in my world.  Even though I love going, I don't sleep well at all there, which makes me more tired and the brain fog sets in.

I must say that throughout our married life of 28 years, I have missed every Thanksgiving with my side of the family, except two.  Those two were great treasures and gifts to me.  My side of the family is very steeped in traditions for different gatherings, but it's also very rich in family experiences. I have the most wonderful childhood memories of family gatherings, especially at Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Lots of hugging and laughter, sampling food when no one is looking, and I miss those times. Some years more than others, but I always got Christmas with my family.  Now that Momma is gone, it is pretty much just time with our immediate family (Honey and our kids), and I don't get to see my Aunt and cousin (and her family) much.  Makes my heart sad, but I realize that I'm not alone, and those in Honey's family have also missed Thanksgivings with their families. I get it, really, but I still miss Thanksgiving.  and I'll miss Momma again this year.  This probably should be left out, but for now, here it is.

Oh, wait, the worry?  That will be the special cake I need to make, the rolls, pies, laundry, packing, checking The List to make sure I didn't miss anything, getting someone to take care of the critters since our regular person isn't available. Oh, I've lost 30 pounds, since July, but I'm afraid I'll cave and start eating things I've eliminated, due to availability, and I'll have to begin again.   Oh, did I mention the fridge started pouring water from the dispenser where we get ice?  Yeah, that's a bit off.  I'm thankful that Honey was able to take it apart and do something, and it seems to be working again.  The bad thing is the  ice filled coolers did not keep all the food frozen and my freezer is now meat free. All that space!!!  It's pretty nice to have a clean freezer again! I know, this is just stuff, and there is no need to worry about stuff, right?  Don't sweat the small stuff...


I'm still aspiring to be a good mom, but as the kids are grown and are getting married, that number is growing.  I can't be the perfect mother-in-law, but I can only do my best.  I'm bound to screw up, because I'm not perfect, but I sure hope the family will forgive me and forget when I do.  If not, I may have to dredge up some of those childhood pictures of the kids that they've begged to be forgotten. 

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