Grateful worry

I have blog post running through my brain constantly, but they never seem to make it here.  Usually my brain has something zipping through it, especially at night when I'm trying to sleep.  I think it's part of being a mom and having to multi-task, and some inherited ADHD.  Needless to say, I have a notebook with my list with me constantly, so I can write things down when needed. I'll confess that when I do something that's not on the list, I'll write it down and then mark it off.  Tah dah!  I've gotten a lot done! 

Oldest and Mrs-to-Be

Lately, my brain has been filled with wedding stuff, mainly the rehearsal dinner, since the wedding is in less than 46 days. So my notebook has a few pages of list and diagrams of the room where we're doing the dinner, with things to do and check-off.  Items to be purchased, food that needs to be made, people that offered to help, items I don't want to forget...  Thankfully, we are not planing the whole wedding, and I have Only to help me, because I'm not great at this.  She is awesome with ideas and Pinterest is our best friend!  We've decided to do a few fun activities, if time permits, with Youngest as the Host, which will be perfect for him.  I think he is planning on doing a Roasting of Oldest, since he's not a groomsman.   I am thankful that Mrs-Oldest-to-Be has shared with me a few special moments, trying on her dress, bridal pictures, plans, etc.  Wedding shower is done, and they were very blessed during that time.  I think I'd like to get married again or renew our vow and register for gifts so we can replace our worn out stuff!  Doesn't that sound like a plan?  Maybe another time.  We have already moved Oldest in the apartment they will be sharing once they get married.  We told him, this was the third time we've moved him and next time, he needs to make some friends and enlist them to help!

We will be spending Thanksgiving with Honey's family, which is always a fun time.  We always have a card game or wahoo going on somewhere in the house, lots of food, and naps.  We can't forget the naps!   I am so thankful for oldest's nephew's wife and her organization each year, for my dear SIL and her laughter and encouragement, and for memories made.  She is a natural at organizing and  at making things so easy for the rest of us.  I can hardly wait to have all our kids in the same place and just enjoy family time.  It's the best thing in my world.  Even though I love going, I don't sleep well at all there, which makes me more tired and the brain fog sets in.

I must say that throughout our married life of 28 years, I have missed every Thanksgiving with my side of the family, except two.  Those two were great treasures and gifts to me.  My side of the family is very steeped in traditions for different gatherings, but it's also very rich in family experiences. I have the most wonderful childhood memories of family gatherings, especially at Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Lots of hugging and laughter, sampling food when no one is looking, and I miss those times. Some years more than others, but I always got Christmas with my family.  Now that Momma is gone, it is pretty much just time with our immediate family (Honey and our kids), and I don't get to see my Aunt and cousin (and her family) much.  Makes my heart sad, but I realize that I'm not alone, and those in Honey's family have also missed Thanksgivings with their families. I get it, really, but I still miss Thanksgiving.  and I'll miss Momma again this year.  This probably should be left out, but for now, here it is.

Oh, wait, the worry?  That will be the special cake I need to make, the rolls, pies, laundry, packing, checking The List to make sure I didn't miss anything, getting someone to take care of the critters since our regular person isn't available. Oh, I've lost 30 pounds, since July, but I'm afraid I'll cave and start eating things I've eliminated, due to availability, and I'll have to begin again.   Oh, did I mention the fridge started pouring water from the dispenser where we get ice?  Yeah, that's a bit off.  I'm thankful that Honey was able to take it apart and do something, and it seems to be working again.  The bad thing is the  ice filled coolers did not keep all the food frozen and my freezer is now meat free. All that space!!!  It's pretty nice to have a clean freezer again! I know, this is just stuff, and there is no need to worry about stuff, right?  Don't sweat the small stuff...

Lynnet

I'm still aspiring to be a good mom, but as the kids are grown and are getting married, that number is growing.  I can't be the perfect mother-in-law, but I can only do my best.  I'm bound to screw up, because I'm not perfect, but I sure hope the family will forgive me and forget when I do.  If not, I may have to dredge up some of those childhood pictures of the kids that they've begged to be forgotten. 

A new Sparkle

Our Engagement

I'll always remember that day, Friday, October 13, 1989. We drove to the city park, in the city where we had attended college, and in the fading of the day, as the city settled down to sleep, he asked me to be his wife. I remember looking at that ring on my finger, so many times in the hours and days that followed. It wasn't the biggest ring, the most sparkly, or expensive, but what made it so incredibly perfect, was Honey picked it out. At the time, Honey made a statement that, someday, he would replace that "small" ring for something bigger and better, but I told him I didn't want that. He felt bad that it was all he could afford on his limited salary at his new job, but, to me, it was the most beautiful ring ever.

Day of the accident

So long dead Explorer

I've worn that ring for 26 years now, until that fateful Christmas Eve in 2015, when it was damaged in an accident that totaled our worn out Explorer. The only injury I sustained was to my hand, and I didn't realize until weeks afterward, and the swelling went down, when I tried to put my ring on, that it was in such horrible shape, and the diamond was missing. I was so incredibly heartbroken.

So I left it off for a whole year and I missed it. I thought about wearing it on a necklace, but instead wore my mom's simple diamond ring when I went out in public. This last November, Honey said he was tired of me not wearing a ring, and he had been saving up for a new one. Off to Zales, with my original ring we went, hoping for good news on getting it repaired. We were shocked to hear it was go my to cost over $1,300 to repair all the prongs, strengthen the bands, replace the diamonds, and make it new. "Looks like its time for a new ring," he said.

Old ring and new

 The representatives/saleslady was so incredibly thoughtful and patient to walk us through this. She listened to me babble and occasionally cry, heard my comments, and presented me with a narrowed choice of three rings, that I might really like. It was really fun, a tad nerve wracking, to really figure out what my ring style was. Blessings: I was a tad nervous to think about paying for this new one, but when she said it was part of the collection on sale, then she gave us an additional small discount, but the part that tore at my heart was when she said "You can apply the value of your old set towards the new ring, but you'll have to turn it in." I just bawled at the thought of letting my ring go. We knew our kids wouldn't want it, but I was so emotionally attached to it. Eventually I handed it over to her, cried some more, as she kept handing me tissues.
This was my first time to ever pick out a ring, but I must say I love my new ring. I think it is me and it's so sparkly and I feel married again. It's amazing how that ring in my finger, or the lack of it, affected me. I was sitting at a stop light once, and the sparkle and zing of the light hitting it distracted me. The cars behind me had to honk to pull me out of it. Boy was I embarrassed! 

  

Only's Wedding preview teaser

   

Family Fun

Preparations

 

One "last" dinner with the kids

Our blank starting point

Almost  Done

Surrounded by family and friends in prayer

Behind Door #__?

The Barker Girls hard at work creating beautiful bouquets, corsages, boutonnieres (using riffle shells) and more!  They were amazing!!!