You did it: you changed wild lament into whirling dance; You ripped off my black mourning band and decked me with wildflowers. I'm about to burst with song; I can't keep quiet about you. God, my God, I can't thank you enough. (The Message)Psalms 30:11-12
Thursday, November 5, 2009
What I feel like is not who I really am
Only and I just finished a Beth Moore Bible Study, a first for both of us (doing a BM Study), on Ester. One thing we heard over and over was it is tough being a woman. I could elaborate on this by adding it's tough being a mom, it's tough being a _______ - you fill in the blank. There have been times in my life that I feel I'm fighting my own battles, though I know He is there going before me. There have been times that life is so wonderful that I've felt like I would burst like fireworks - a zing for life! Other times I feel like a dripping faucet - irritating and annoying to others and God. How can they stand to be around me??? Yet again, there are days that I feel close to Him, and know He is the Creator and This is the Day He made... How could anything ever go wrong. Need I explain about those Titanic day? Other times I feel as beautiful and colorful as the most beautiful butterfly He has ever created... This last week has been tough with a daily headache looming around in my head, a child that has a thirst for life, adventure, and probably is a little more than ADD, and overwhelming thoughts of what do I try to do first... This morning, I knew I would not make a good Paul in the jail - my song would probably be more of a sad country song rather than one of Praise... I'm so thankful that God doesn't base His love for me based on how I feel. There are so many out there who are really struggling - Mollie with lung cancer, friend who just miscarried, broken marriages, lost jobs, loss of loved one, etc... Thank you for loving me when I don't always feel lovely!