High end? Guess not!

Last weekend, with all the cleaning, organizing, and building of Only's loft bed, I was sure I had that cleaning bug "out of my system.".

Seems not. I was trying to find something to wear for a date with Honey and more often than not, my closet was packed with clothes

1. I don't wear,
2. A decade old
3. The wrong size
4. Not a style I should be seen in
(Honey's too small shirts)

Before I knew it, my bed had more clothes than my closet. Must say it felt pretty good to do that! Thought I would take it to our local popular resale shop and make some money. Turns out, I have a handful of items that were acceptable, but felt so disheartened, embarrassed, and low when I left because our things were not "High End." Not sure why it really bothered me, but it did. I do have things with nice brand names on them, and nothing I took inside the store was ready for Goodwill (I left those in the car).

Sweet Momma reminded me that I was not the one rejected, but the clothes I rejected or purged from my closet were. Still, my heart was wounded from the experience.

So, we are now having a garage sale this next weekend, saving myself the 20% fee they would charge. Poor Honey wasn't happy about it, but hopefully the money we make will convince him it will be worth it.

Lynnet

Dusting off my shoes

Last week, 

the  first official day of our 7 weeks of summer break,

I dusted off my running shoes

stretched my unused muscles

(they protested greatly)

and plugged in my moving sidewalk

(this clothing hanger is officially called a treadmill).  

Last week I did 8 miles not great,

(please read 8 miles in one week, not in one day, ugh)

but everyday getting faster and better. 

I'm ashamed to admit that this last year I allowed stress and adjustments to our family structure stress me and use food as a crutch and I gained those 25 lbs . I worked so hard the last few years to not just lose the extra pounds, but to be healthier, and feel better about myself, and improve my marriage. Although getting up at 5 to go spinning at 5:20 and working out for 3 hrs. a day was helping me to lose the weight and tone up, it was taking it's toll. 

Tracking progress: A few years ago I used FitDay, because I need be held accountable, but found SparkPeople easier to use on my phone when I'm out.  I like the options of entering data on my phone or on line and it automatically updates. In the past I found that MyFitnessFriends was a wonderful support and encouragement, I probably should head back over there! Slowly, yes slowly, I'm working back towards my goal.  I loved being the size I was for years, and it's not really about the specific size or the number on the scale, but it's about how I feel about myself and the role model I am for my kids.  I told myself all those years ago that I wouldn't go back to where I had started, but I did.




*Note to self
Do not swing arms when jogging
arm will catch on ear buds connected to phone on which I'm listening to Pandora cardio music because I must then jump over my phone as it falls on treadmill.  It easier to attach it to self and avoid such supposed disaster.


** Note to self
Lock cat out of bedroom while walking
she is magically drawn to the moving "play toy"
The last time she tried to join me,
she jumped on the treadmill (which was moving)
I tried to jump out of her fast and unsuccessful use,
landed back on the moving sidewalk,
but I did one of those ungracefull falls off,
which slid me backwards in the blink of an eye. 
I had abraisions and bruises on the left side of my poor body
could hardly move for 4 days afterward.
All the videos you see on AFV of people doing the same thing...
It's really not that funny

What I feel like is not who I really am

Only and I just finished a Beth Moore Bible Study, a first for both of us (doing a BM Study), on Ester. One thing we heard over and over was it is tough being a woman. I could elaborate on this by adding it's tough being a mom, it's tough being a _______ - you fill in the blank. There have been times in my life that I feel I'm fighting my own battles, though I know He is there going before me. There have been times that life is so wonderful that I've felt like I would burst like fireworks - a zing for life! Other times I feel like a dripping faucet - irritating and annoying to others and God. How can they stand to be around me??? Yet again, there are days that I feel close to Him, and know He is the Creator and This is the Day He made... How could anything ever go wrong. Need I explain about those Titanic day? Other times I feel as beautiful and colorful as the most beautiful butterfly He has ever created... This last week has been tough with a daily headache looming around in my head, a child that has a thirst for life, adventure, and probably is a little more than ADD, and overwhelming thoughts of what do I try to do first... This morning, I knew I would not make a good Paul in the jail - my song would probably be more of a sad country song rather than one of Praise... I'm so thankful that God doesn't base His love for me based on how I feel. There are so many out there who are really struggling - Mollie with lung cancer, friend who just miscarried, broken marriages, lost jobs, loss of loved one, etc... Thank you for loving me when I don't always feel lovely!

You did it: you changed wild lament into whirling dance; You ripped off my black mourning band and decked me with wildflowers. I'm about to burst with song; I can't keep quiet about you. God, my God, I can't thank you enough. (The Message)Psalms 30:11-12

Learning to Dance

"You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy." Psalm 30:11 "There is the life you dream and there is the life you live." Angela Thomas Saturday I attended a ladies conference (When Wallflowers Dance) with special speaker Angela Thomas. She was just excellent when I heard her a few years ago speak on "Do You Think I'm Beautiful". I just about bawled through that one because she had pegged me so well. I was sure she had seen a short video about my life and experiences and written the book for me. It was then I discovered that I was a kingdom girl, like in Cinderella. I was so thankful I wasn't the ugly step-sisters, the tyrannical step-mother, the absent queen, but who I really wanted to be was not the ever seeking, ever wishing, ever trying Kingdom girl. Nope, I wanted to be Cinderella dancing in Prince Charming's arms. She challenged me (okay I wasn't the only one there, but she had a message for me) that in our darkest moments or in our greatest joys, God is there, still treasuring me/us. In short, she said:

1. Choose God - become a woman of God
2. Stop the chaos - Stop being what everyone thinks you should be and restore your soul. Give up what takes me away from Him.
3. Stay connected - to the Body, Show up, Stand up, and be ready.
4. Restore order - to our home and our physical bodies

• Keep a clear and pur mind/conscience
• Have a clean house - she wasn't talking about dusting here. She was talking about protecting our homes from the outside influences and darkness that invade.
• Redirect my heart - Don't increase in negative thoughts and bitterness.

I saw that I had let myself go - I've been so busy running, doing, trying, organizing, etc. that I forgot I needed dancing lessons to prepare myself to dance with the King. Will I ever be the Proverbs 31 woman. I don't think she exist - at least not in my house, but I'm starting my dancing lessons again and I'm working myself from being a wallflower kingdom girl to a princess, daughter of the King. Not there yet... I'm still on the edge of the crowd with the rest of the Kingdom Girls, but I'm next in line and I'm taking lessons...

Paint can full of fun

In the stillness of the morning, "Beep, beep, beep" breaks the quiet. Fumbling fingers search to quiet the alarm as a bed creaks. Opening my eyes, I focus on the clock - 6:30 a.m. it reads. I lie quiet listening as Claire's door opens and she pads down the hall to the bathroom. We have 1 hour until we leave and 3 people are still in bed...

What is Work Camp? No, it's not a place like a slave camp, but rather an opportunity to serve and learn. Caleb and Claire, with their friend Dillon, and other youths from area churches are taking part in a week long project helping others by painting homes in the surrounding area.

• Is is easy? No, not in the hottest part of the summer. They are scraping houses, climbing ladders, hammering, and rolling paint.
• Did they want to do this? Yep! This is something they look forward to each year. Seeing whose team they're on, what van they'll ride in (this is important especially if your van has air conditioning), what houses they'll paint...
• Is it fun? You bet! I love to hear the stories they tell about the kids they work with, paint colors, the people they meet, morning devotions, and the funny things that happen.
• Do the kids get paid? No, we actually pay for them to do this! The money, with sponsors, goes to provide paint and supplies.
• Do the kids get anything from this? Besides a t-shirt and sore muscles, they are meeting new kids from other churches, sometimes they stop at Sonic. More importantly, they are learning, not only how to paint, but work ethic and helping others without expecting anything in return.
• Is it worth it? Absolutely! We love for the kids to grab hold of opportunities to learn, grow, laugh, live, and serve. On Thursday, there will be a dinner for the home owners, workers, and sponsors. They'll get a chance to mingle, laugh, cry, watch a video of the week, and remember. Each afternoon, when I pick them up, they drag their weary, paint splattered bodies outside, ease themselves into the car, and slowly, conversations fill the silent spaces with laughter, memories, and "ahhhhh's - feel the cool air".