Looking for the light...

My Momma

Sunday was Mother's Day and after lunch with Honey, Youngest and two friends, and a nap, I slipped out of the house to visit Mom.  Occasionally, Mom will get a few cards from friends back home and I try to read them to her when I visit. This time I went armed with a Braums Strawberry shake for her and a chocolate one for me, a birthday card for my brother that I wanted her to sign, and a pen.

Sometimes I dread going to see Mom.  Never knowing if I will see that light of recognition in her eyes or will I be a stranger?  Will she ignore me or hug me?  On the days that she does not know me, I don't stay long.  It's not that I want to, but she looses interest and ignores me.  I usually end up talking to the CNA (Certified Nurses Assistant) or watching whatever TV show is on at the moment.

That day, she was sitting at a table, clutching a cup that held the droplets of a Mighty Shake.  She has long since forgotten how to use utensils and her appetite is dropping, but there are these wonderful little high calorie shakes that she loves.  In fact, the nurses that give meds keep an extra one on hand when they go down my mom's section because she likes to sneak one from the med cart.  As I sat down, she was resting her head in her free hand.  I touched her hand, and she opened her eyes, peering at me.  "Hey Momma!  I'm your daughter."  Usually that's how I start and sometimes, after 10-15 minutes she may seem to know I'm someone she should know.

"Oh, it's you!  You're the first," she said referring to birth order, but I'm actually the second.  She looked beautiful in her floral blouse and purple dress pants and it caught me off guard.  She physically reminded me of the old Momma, before this disease took over and I had to fight the tears.  Lindsey, the CNA, had curled her hair and painted her nails a beautiful deep pink earlier.

She tried to make conversation, but the words are just not there.  Her brain, jumbled, only allowed a few words before she got that worried look on her face, and then she saw me.  Her hand lifted, brushing my hair back from my face. There was a light of recognition in her eyes.
 "Where is your husband?"
"He's at home mowing the yard."  She frowns as she tries to process this as she slurped her shake.  She watches as I take a drink of mine.
"What is that" she ask with interest, licking her lips.
"Oh it's a chocolate shake. Why don't you take a drink of yours?"  
A female resident sidles up next to Mom.  "She danced with me today.  She likes Elvis you know."
Do you have a man? Momma questioned.
Yes, I have a husband and kids," I answered pulling out my phone to show her pictures.  Somehow she knows that strange little device holds pictures and ask for it from time to time. I took the opportunity to take a picture of her, selfie style.
"Ew, who is that?", she asked pointing to herself on the screen.
"That's you, Momma.  Don't you look beautiful?"  She frowns. "Can you smile for me?"   She pauses, working her mouth, as if trying to remember how to smile.  Turning her face to me, she smiles and I snap the shot.  I never could get one of her looking straight at the camera. She kept sticking her tongue out at it.

Oh, the card you ask?  I attempted to put the pen in her hand and she fumbled  to grasp it.  The CNA got a scrap piece of paper to practice on.  I wrote the word MOM, so she could copy it, but she could not even do that.  The CNA suggested I do a hand-over-hand writing with her.  Momma asked what was it for and I told her it was for her son.  She looked worried because she didn't remember she had a son.
"I should do something..." she started.
"Oh, you already are!  See, you got this card for him!"

Dinner arrived and I moved her into the kitchen area where she eats, as a fellow resident passed out silverware and drinks.  She has a hard time concentrating when she sits out with the other residents and often, the CNA will feed her and her roommate in there. Veggie Soup and a tuna sandwich!  I couldn't believe it.  The kitchen is supposed to prepare only finger foods for her. Picking up the spoon, I drain as much liquid off and begin feeding her.  This isn't something I ever thought I would do and it wasn't the first time. It's not something I'm comfortable with.  I can feed little kids with no problem, but my brain balks at my momma being so incapacitated that she can't feed herself, nor recognize how to use utensils.  She pokes her finger in her soup and puts it in her mouth. I push the soup a little further away from her and she eyes my chocolate shake as I spoon some carrots into her mouth.  She eats most of it and I try to feed her roommate siting next to me.  She eats some and spits it out, which does this at every meal.  Finally she finishes most of the soup and she spies the sandwich, poking her finger in it and tasting it.  We sit for a while as I feed her bite size pieces of her sandwich. My phone lights up with a message from Honey, and I know I need to head out.  Her night time meds are kicking in and she will be too sleepy to care soon. I pour the rest of my shake into her cup and she grabs it immediately.
"Mmmm, that good,"   closing her eyes in pleasure.  It's the simple things really.

My chair scrapes the floor noisily as I get up and she looks at me with a panic.  "Momma, I have to go."
"Do you want to sleep in my room?" she ask.
"No, I have to get home and get ready for work tomorrow, but I will come back.  I always come back."  She sighs and kisses me with soupy, chocolate lips. I leave the room and she has already forgotten I was there.  I walk to the locked doors with tears pooling in my eyes, forcing myself to not look back....

Please don't get me wrong and say I'm such a good daughter.  I don't see it like that.  I struggle greatly with this disease and all it brings, what it does to the individual and their families.  There are days I know I should go see her and I piddle around, mentally making excuses.  I think of my friend back in KS who has moved in with her mom to care for her, leaving her family home.  I know the struggle she is going through.  It is real, raw, frustrating, heartbreaking, and exhausting.  I know the struggle of another friend whom is Driving hundreds of miles each weekend to be with his mom, as she journeys through this. I see their devotion, heartbreak, and dread.  I think of my cousin, who lost her mom, my aunt to this over seven years ago. I hear the kindness and wisdom in her voice and messages.  I no longer look around the corner to anticipate what is coming next - I can't.  It's one day, one visit, one tear at a time, holding on to any light that may come to her eyes.

Wisdom and insight from an uncommon friendship

Curled up in my favorite chair with new book in my lap, the soft voices of two friends in conversation, drift from the pages of their lives and fill my mind with images of two distinct lives that God brought together.

Plain Wisdom: An Invitation into an Amish Home and the Hearts of Two Women  (by Cindy Woodsmall and Miriam Flaud) is infused with humor, scripture and stories of God's provision, sprinkled with the challenges, frustrations, joys, and the honesty and insight of women from two different walks of life, forged through years of  their uncommon friendship. 

One of the unique qualities of the book are found in the writing style of both authors. While Cindy has a more polished style, readers get a glimpse of Miriam's life through her journal type writing - both written from the heart.  By sharing their perspectives and experiences, recounting events that reflect the honesty and hearts of two women, you are invited to the private Amish world.

A humorous threat can be a great way to caution someone who's out of line and bring a smile at the same time.  But more than that, it helps people be more comfortable in their own skin.   Cindy  

We get only one chance at making a good first impression.  Being imperfect humans, we tend to be overly cautious, afraid of messing up.  But when we're not our true selves, we can lose more than we gain.  Miriam

The book focuses on seven themes, which are broken down into 6-9 short chapters, begin with corresponding scripture, followed by warm personal memories from both Cindy and Miriam,.  At the back of the book, you'll find an index of the recipes that were sprinkled throughout the book and a helpful discussion guide.

•   Seven Themes: 

• The Rhythm of Life
• Timeless Beginnings
• Challenges Great and Small
• Laughter in Odd Places
• Beauty, Ashes, and things Between
• In His Hands
• The Shape of Tomorrow

 How is it possible for two women, living in two totally opposite cultures and seemingly different worlds, to connect and form a lasting friendship spanning thousands of miles with grace and strength?  I hope that you add this book to your reading list and discover from the how they crossed boundaries and formed a unique bond. 






I received this book free for review from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group.  I was not required to write a favorable review.

The following is a video of Cindy Woodsmall, speaking of how the friendship of Miriam and herself blossomed and why the book was written.

Recaping the week: Sickness, blessings, and possibilities

How are you doing?  I mean REALLY doing?  Did you have a great week, an okay one, or are you thankful for the weekend? Are you ready for this coming week?

We've had two sweet little little girls, The Princess and "H", were diagnosed with RSV as well and we can't figure out where they picked it up from. Both have had meds to help with the coughing, of which they act like crazy little happy monkeys after taking it. I feel so bad for them. 


Did you know it is entirely possible to go through an ENTIRE roll of Charmin Jumbo roll TP in one day just by blowing one's nose?  Yep, it's been one of those kind of colds! 

On the 9th, I started reading One Thousand Gifts by Voskamp, and I've slowly, paragraph by paragraph, page by page, made it to chapter 4 writing down thoughts and scripture.  It is slowly teaching and revealing to me that inside each event, person, thing, experience... to look for the blessing - even if it's not always easy.  I'm not great at this, but I'm learning. It has made me think differently about Jesus during the Passover Feast with his apostles in Luke 22:19.  Which lead me to Philippians 4:11-12 and Ephesians 5:20. I'm up to #17 on my own list. 

This coming Tuesday, I will welcome the third sweet little girl(15 months old) to our crew, whom I will be caring for during the day.  There will be many adjustments for all.

Many of you know that we have a German Shepard who is terrified of storms, loud noises, hates riding in the truck,and gets terribly anxious when I leave the house. I was so excited when friends of ours told us about a "Thunder shirt" that they got their dog in dealing with anxieties and acceptance. They said they thought of us when they were talking with their pet therapist about it (I know, I'm in the wrong profession), so I did some research.  Could this be the solution that helps our Lady to feel less anxious? Next week I'm going to see about getting her one of these - I've had enough of sleeping on the couch with her!  



Here are posts that really touched me as I visited them.

• Pickie Palate posted about the most sinful looking Brownie Stuffed Chocolate Chip cookies.  Just the name makes me melt! You should see these beauties!  
• TracyLou at Where a Second Glance made a great business card holder - She's one  creative and gifted lady. 
• Glenda blessed with by allowing us a glimpse in the studio of talented Drenda Duff
• Lisa really blessed and challenged me in writing Your Life is NOT about you! Being on the worship team (I play the flute), sometimes one may lose focus, distracted by technical malfunctions, or a song set in a strange key that only guitars like, but that's not why I'm really there. It's all about Him.
• Lorie at Thinking Out Loud, in grief about the sudden death their pastor LAST NIGHT.  I cannot imagine the grief of their congregation, family, or the people that he touched.  Can you join us in praying for that congregation, his family, and community?
  

  "When life takes an unexpected turn what do we do?
  We turn to God..." Bishop from First United Methodist

    "Grief is the Price we pay for love" CS Lewis
  

I need to sign off and get some things done, but I want to leave you with a new song I hear  "This Is The Stuff" by Francesca Battistelli 

"This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use"

Recaping the week

Was it us, or has this been a busy and chilly week? 

 

•  Snow: You would think that the previous week's inch or two of ice would have been plenty but NO! We got a whopping 6", which is very slight compared to those around us who got 12-24"  It shut down school from Wed - Friday.  They say we're supposed to have temps close to 65-70º this coming week!  No wonder there have been so many people sick.

"J"'s Daddy in the hospital

  

• Visitors:  We had three young visitors (ages 3,5,8)staying with us while their daddy was in the hospital.  They certainly kept us hopping!
  
• Taxes:  I don't know how you do you taxes, but we do our own using Turbo Tax.  Honey and I certainly disagree on appropriate filing systems.  He likes to throw everything in a shoe box and I like to put everything in a specific file folder in the file cabinet. 
• I started reading One Thousand Gifts.  I'm finding I need to take it nice and slow with this one, taking plenty of notes.   
• Sewing:  I find a little time today to work a little more on my Blissful Confection quilt by putting the first border on it.  Just one final border to go and then I can start putting it together and quilting it.  Need to get it done before winter is over!  
• Honey and I had a early Valentine's dinner on Friday at Cheddars. 

 
This week, I enjoyed some blog reading:

• Holly talked about Grace in the midst of failure
• Megan at Simply Thrifty posted how to extend the life of your dishwasher
• Mr. Watkins has fantastic links for science helps
• The Momma had me grabbing for my tissues when she wrote about her son's giving heart at Find Joy in the Little Things
• Alexis at Tales from the Back Acher: Losing the "sparkly" in her life and the blahs. 
• Sandy from Celebrating Life just found out she has Rheumatoid Arthritis. What was incredibly touching was her Honey's response.  

Have you had some snow days this last week?  How did you use your time? Did you catch up on reading of a book, some blog posts, or time with your family?   I'd love to hear about it.

It's all about Love and War

I must say that when I think of doing a devotional, I'm really hesitant.  They are usually long and/or tedious to get through.  I'm not a deep thinker - I usually feel lost or horribly inadequate when asked to delve deeper into the meaning of something. Maybe I've been looking in the wrong direction! 

The Barna Group found in its latest study that born again Christians who are not evangelical were indistinguishable from the national average on the matter of divorce with 33 percent having married and divorced at least once. Among all born again Christians, which includes evangelicals, the divorce figure is 32 percent, which is statistically identical to the 33 percent figure among non-born again adults, the research group noted. 

 While a higher proportion of born again Christians marry (84 percent) compared to the national average (78 percent), recent trends indicate that Americans are growing more comfortable with divorce.  www.christianpost.com

Does that sound a little more than depressing?  It's certainly not encouraging, but it's a life-long marriage is not impossible.  The first year of our marriage was tough.  We were both trying to figure out who we were, how to adjust to being married, letting go of pre-conceived expectations, and meshing two lives into one.  This summer, Honey and I will celebrate 21 yrs. of marriage - I'm not sure how the years passed so quickly, but they did.  I think of those we know with 50+ years of marriage: Honey's parents, my grandparents, the many mature marriages where we attend church.  I know each has not been without struggles, difficult experiences, and boundless joys.  So how did they do it? Do they solely take credit for their long marriages?

Trying to sort your way through marriage without God in your life is like trying to be gracious when you are utterly sleep-deprived.  Love and War

I'd like to introduce you to John and Stasi Eldredge's book: Love and War Devotional for Couples  is heralded as "The 8-week adventure that will help you find the marriage you always dreamed of."

• based on their Love and War book
• simply written and easily understood, - no deep theology, questions, or need for dissection of what was written 
• five daily devotions per week, 2-3 pages long, taking less than 2 minutes to read, allowing time for discussion it may lead to.
• compact with 134 pages, making it easy to take with you where you go 
• specific topics each week with sub-topics each day.
• each day is backed by specific scripture twice each devotional day
• a short prayer penned at the conclusion of each day
• A simple exercise concludes each week, bringing into focus that's weeks topic

I liked the Eldredges' personal voice which reaches both husbands and wives without specifically targeting either, a melding with balance. I appreciated how each weekly topic and devotion unite and build on each other to give ample opportunity for extended conversation on a daily basis.  

This is not a feel-good, bubbly, everything is a fairy-tale devotional with a magic wand, nor is it a fix-it-all, or 12-step program.  In reality, it is a personal, relevant, and applicable tool for couples, newlyweds and those with many years of marriage:

• whom are struggling
• whom desire to strengthen the foundations and commitments, 
• need to do preventative maintenance or repair 

When they speak of finding "the marriage you always dreamed of," you should know that you'll be expected to take a journey, transform, and really work for your marriage - for better or worse, learning and growing.  Are you ready for a journey? How have you worked to save or strengthen your marriage?

If you would like to read the first chapter of Love and War, head on over here for a sneak peak. 

DISCLAIMER: “I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review in exchange for an honest review  If you would like more information on Blogging for Books, head over to Waterbrook Press.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Feed Me Books Friday: From Parents with Love

Yesterday I had the pleasure of watching a friend's two kids while she took Only resale shopping.  Now before you think I got the short end here, let me confess that I DON'T LIKE SHOPPING!  It doesn't matter whether it is for groceries, clothes, whatever... The first thing I think is how much is it and I can never find anything that I feel good in when shopping for clothes. Only likes clothes shopping and Shawnda is a FANTASTIC resale shopper.  So I happily agreed to watch her two in exchange for Only having a little Girl-Time with her D-Group (discipleship) leader.  

Of course our day had to include a trip to the library when they had a blast looking for books that looked good. Here are a few books we picked up and guess what - they all had to do with parents!  

1.  I fell in love with Billy Crystal's (yes the actor) I Already Know I love You, which actually deals with a grandpa eagerly anticipating his grandchild's arrival. I had no idea he had written a book, but I was drawn simply by the title on the spine.  Because this week was the first week of Piggy Tales, in which the story of the day we were born, I thought this was perfect! The pictures alone are a delight, but the story equally matches the hopes and dreams.  Look what gem is penned on the inside front and back cover:

I'm waiting to see you in ballet shoes or is it football pads? To listen to your music and say, "it's just a fad." I'm waiting to meet your boyfriends or hear you say, "she's the one." Oh, unborn child, this wait is getting fun!  I want to read your poems and get postcards from afar. I can't believe I'm writing this, 'cause I don't know who you are."   B.C.

2.  Can you, just for a minutes, think about what bedtime would be like if it were up to your kids to "put" you to bed?  Would you throw a fit, go willingly, or milk it for all you can?  If you're curious or tempted to try this, I highly suggest Bedtime for Mommy by Amy Krouse Rosenthal. Again there are some utterly delightful illustrations and dialogue that will make just about anyone giggle just reading each page and thinking of what could happen if this took place in your home... Might just be a fun-filled experiment!  


Just imagine:  Your kids prompting and leading you to stop what you're doing to take a bath, brush your teeth, pick out your clothes for the next day (actually for me that would be great as Only has a great eye for this), reading a "bed-time" story...  I really hope you're able to find this little gem!  It was so funny that last night, at 10 p.m., Youngest came up to me, with a sly grin on his face and said "Time for bed, Mommy!" 

If you have a minute, please visit her blog, head on over here.  It is filled with a complete book listing for kids and adults, and so much more.  

3.  Now I must confess that it was the cover that drew me to this book.  The Rainbabies by Laura Krauss Melmed. I was intrigued and settled down at the table to see what Rainbabies were.  I was not disappointed with the story or the soft watercolor type illustrations. 

Imagine an older childless couple who has everything they could want except they never were able to have children. One night that wish was granted in the most unusual way and suddenly the Old Couple find themselves caring for and loving twelve very special babies!  

While it was an adjustment, they become very devoted to caring for these babies, risking their lives to protect the tiny babies against mighty waves, a horrific fire, and a wishful thieving rodent only to have the real mother appear and offer them a reward for caring for her special offspring.  I'm not going to spoil the ending, but would rather urge you to look for this beautiful book and read the rest.  

 

If you'd like to know what other books that Melmed has written, I hope you'll pop over to her website and take a moment to explore, possibly add a few books to your wish list!  

If you'd like to find other great books written just for kids, head on over to The Adventure of Motherhood and check out more great reviews! 

Feed Me Friday Books: Geronimo Stilton

I can hardly believe it's Friday already, but it is.  I so much look forward to Feed Me Books Friday and was really touched by Jana's post about Literacy, because it

I must confess that I have been tutoring/teaching a boy for the past 1 1/2 years in my home.  And while that story would be long, it is not to be told today. The journey has been far from easy, is has been filled with frustration, some tears, many prayers, and some victories.  Because of the extreme neglect of his education, there were many area that "John" needed and I felt so inadequate.  The last grade we suspect he attended was 2nd or some of 3rd, though he should have completed 5.5 when he arrived on my doorstep. He has so many areas that needs attention that I many times loose perspective and wonder what in the world I was thinking! But God is greater than I and knows the BIG picture of my student's life...

One of the first areas he struggled with was his reading.  When he first came, he could not spell or even sound out all of his letters.  He stuggles with spelling and his handwriting is that of a 3rd grader, but his reading has taken off and his comprehension is good, if we discuses thing verbally.  He has excelled from a RL (Reading Level) of 2.0 to 4.5.  He has been a reluctant reader, but there is one series of books that tempts him greatly and he grabs for them every time he needs to select a books for home reading.  We began purchasing some of them for Youngest when he was in 1st grade and he loved them.  What could possibly grab the attention of two boys, one who thirst for reading and the other who dreads it?
Geronimo Stilton!  

Who is this character?  He's a Mouse from New Mouse City who runs The Rodent’s Gazette, a newspaper, but loves writing adventure stories.  His books, for RL 3 or ages 7-10, are filled with adventure, history, geography, expressive fonts, terrifically descriptive words, a list of characters, great illustrations, maps, drawings, and so much more.  

According to Kidsread.com, They were originally published in Italy (where they're the bestselling children's books, besting Harry Potter), and have been translated into 35 languages.


To add to the fun, each book is fully illustrated with funny drawings, colorfully expressive fonts, maps, character lists and pictures --- and much more.

At Scholastic, there are printable pages and activities for certain books. 
I love how they take many "favorite and descriptive" words, using expressive fonts, to make the story more exciting, by helping the student work on expressive reading.  You can see by the picture on the right a few examples.  



Each book is filled with geographical or hisorical facts, charts, list of characters (mouse version), and make them come to life with much action and adventure. (see picture to the right)


Most of the time you can find these at public libraries, used book stores, Amazon, your local bookstore, and school Book Fairs.  I hope you'll take the time to check a few of these out for your young readers!


Here is a short "letter" from Geronimo to teachers and parents that was taken from Scholastic's Geronimo website.

I’m Geronimo Stilton, editor of The Rodent’s Gazette, the most popular newspaper in New Mouse City. I also write exciting stories based on my adventures, that are spectacular, silly, surprising, and fa-mouse-ly funny!

Using my books in the classroom is a great way to improve your students’ reading and writing skills. That’s because they make learning fun! Using this guide, you’ll help students to:
3Use dialogue to enliven writing
3Incorporate pictures and words into a story
3Use descriptive words to make characters come to life
3Build vocabulary to make more colorful stories
In no time at all, you’ll have young mouselets following in my paw-steps and creating fabumouse stories of their own!

 If you would like to read Jana's post about literacy or see what other fabulous books have be reviewed, head over to The Adventure of Motherhood: Feed Me Friday Books!

Feed Me Friday Books: Flap books

Since we've had Princess Izzy in our home, we've pulled out our childrens books again and have begun to rediscover them. We have found they have been as much a delight then as they are now.  One type of books that has always been very popular with our kids and Izzy are the flap books.  We love them for several reasons: 

• works on dexterity of little ones fingers opening the flaps.
• builds excitement and anticipation (what's under the flap)
• works on memory and visual recognition (what's under the flap & on the page)
• increases vocabulary

On the Farm (Usborne Lift the Flap Books)We have a quite a few favorites, but I'd like to review one - Usborne's On the Farm

On the Farm: Izzy LOVES this book as it is filled with tons of animals and images found on a farm.  She can hardly wait to turn the pages, make the sounds, lift the flaps, and point out all the animals she knows. Since we are working on signing words with Izzy, this books has really increased her desire to know more signs and saying the new words. On the Farm also works on counting, science, and proper names of farm animals.  We have found her vocabulary has increased immensely and she is able to recognize not only animals in the book, but it other settings as well (books, toys, real life, TV, etc).

Each page has simple wording that encourages readers to open the flaps and read more about the subject of the page (pigs, cows, sheep, chickens, goats, ducks, in the barn...). The pages are colorful, life-like illustrations, short enough to keep attention of the youngest ones.  They have several other Lift-The-Flap Books: Beach, bugs, dinosaurs, airport, sea, math, and more.  










  
We actually have another favorite: Clifford's Schoolhouse, but it's not in not that available as it's been out for a while.  You can see from the pictures that our copy has been well loved and used over the last 10 years. There are a few reasons we love this book:

• there are a lot of flaps to open
• ABCs, shapes, numbers, counting, books, colors are all included as subjects to explore and learn about under the flaps. 
• Very colorful
• Most kids are familiar with the Clifford and Emily characters

My point?  There are so many great Lift-the-flap books out there to share with the children in your life.  I even spotted some at Sams this last week and was REALLY tempted to get a few. Hope you will have the chance to explore this type of book soon! If you'd like to learn more about some great book recommendations for children, head over to The Adventure of Motherhood for Feed Me Friday Books!

** I am an Amazon affiliate and may receive a very small commission for products purchased through my Amazon links.