A new Sparkle

Our Engagement

I'll always remember that day, Friday, October 13, 1989. We drove to the city park, in the city where we had attended college, and in the fading of the day, as the city settled down to sleep, he asked me to be his wife. I remember looking at that ring on my finger, so many times in the hours and days that followed. It wasn't the biggest ring, the most sparkly, or expensive, but what made it so incredibly perfect, was Honey picked it out. At the time, Honey made a statement that, someday, he would replace that "small" ring for something bigger and better, but I told him I didn't want that. He felt bad that it was all he could afford on his limited salary at his new job, but, to me, it was the most beautiful ring ever.

Day of the accident

So long dead Explorer

I've worn that ring for 26 years now, until that fateful Christmas Eve in 2015, when it was damaged in an accident that totaled our worn out Explorer. The only injury I sustained was to my hand, and I didn't realize until weeks afterward, and the swelling went down, when I tried to put my ring on, that it was in such horrible shape, and the diamond was missing. I was so incredibly heartbroken.

So I left it off for a whole year and I missed it. I thought about wearing it on a necklace, but instead wore my mom's simple diamond ring when I went out in public. This last November, Honey said he was tired of me not wearing a ring, and he had been saving up for a new one. Off to Zales, with my original ring we went, hoping for good news on getting it repaired. We were shocked to hear it was go my to cost over $1,300 to repair all the prongs, strengthen the bands, replace the diamonds, and make it new. "Looks like its time for a new ring," he said.

Old ring and new

 The representatives/saleslady was so incredibly thoughtful and patient to walk us through this. She listened to me babble and occasionally cry, heard my comments, and presented me with a narrowed choice of three rings, that I might really like. It was really fun, a tad nerve wracking, to really figure out what my ring style was. Blessings: I was a tad nervous to think about paying for this new one, but when she said it was part of the collection on sale, then she gave us an additional small discount, but the part that tore at my heart was when she said "You can apply the value of your old set towards the new ring, but you'll have to turn it in." I just bawled at the thought of letting my ring go. We knew our kids wouldn't want it, but I was so emotionally attached to it. Eventually I handed it over to her, cried some more, as she kept handing me tissues.
This was my first time to ever pick out a ring, but I must say I love my new ring. I think it is me and it's so sparkly and I feel married again. It's amazing how that ring in my finger, or the lack of it, affected me. I was sitting at a stop light once, and the sparkle and zing of the light hitting it distracted me. The cars behind me had to honk to pull me out of it. Boy was I embarrassed! 

  

On a Whim Wedding quilt

Shhh, Don't tell... I've started on a wedding quilt for my nephew and his bride to be for their May 2013 wedding! When My sister-in-Love first started inquiring about colors, she said they lean toward more richer colors. Took me close to two hours to pull this fabric together, but I think this works. 

It's called "On a Whim" by Camille at Thimble Blossoms, which seems to fit them just right.

:"On a Whim" by goneaussiequilting

What do you think? I've never done one like this before, but I'm excited.I'm trying to cut the fabric for two separate blocks at a time, and then sew one specific part of the block (like the upper corners with the purple triangle, and print block).  Sure makes things go much more quickly! 

Tweleve blocks done, eight left to go!

Honey and Youngest will be gone this Saturday for a Boy Scout even, Oldest is working, and Only will be babysitting.  Home Alone!!!  Yes, I plan on sewing so much more! I'm still not sure how I'm going to quilt this massive thing, but I sure the inspiration will come just in time.

What I'm reading and who I visited this week

It's always a treat when I can find a few minutes to visit friends and people, via blogs. Many times, I find the messages written there are somehow just what I needed to read. I'd like to share some of the post and blogs that really inspired, educated, and touched me.  

• Jamie at PrudentBaby showed her readers how to make Sun Butter.  I have a few friends who have have children with severe Peanut/Nut allergies (one is air born)  and I was so excited to see Jamie's post.  I know that Sun Butter (like peanut butter, but made from sunflower seeds is very expensive to purchase, but safe for those with peanut allergies). Made sure I passed this on to those friends, but I'm tempted to try it myself!

• Christina from Denmark, (Photographer and Life Coach) at Divas and Dreams really spoke to my heart when she honestly wrote how Comparison Kills and self esteem.
  

  When our "inner critic monster" wants to sabotage our passion and creativity by comparing itself to another, it distract us from our flow, owning our value and unique contribution. 

• Jhen Stark at From Here to Eternity for her honest post that lead me to Christina
  

• The Money Saving Queen wrote about being The Balance Queen

For the sake of complete honesty, this area has become a major struggle for me. I'm only mentioning it today because I know God is all about balance and if you are out of balance you can also easily take yourself out from the blessings of God as well. I've seen this in my own life. It is important to keep balance in all things

• I loved Robin Dance's post at incourage about Just Breathe (marriage)

• If you're needing a fun and simple experiment to do with your kids, try this experiment with "Magic Milk" and food coloring.  Can you guess what we're going to study and do this week with the girls?  Cows and milk! 

I'm so glad you stopped by for a short visit.  I would love to hear what has been going on with you this week!

It's all about Love and War

I must say that when I think of doing a devotional, I'm really hesitant.  They are usually long and/or tedious to get through.  I'm not a deep thinker - I usually feel lost or horribly inadequate when asked to delve deeper into the meaning of something. Maybe I've been looking in the wrong direction! 

The Barna Group found in its latest study that born again Christians who are not evangelical were indistinguishable from the national average on the matter of divorce with 33 percent having married and divorced at least once. Among all born again Christians, which includes evangelicals, the divorce figure is 32 percent, which is statistically identical to the 33 percent figure among non-born again adults, the research group noted. 

 While a higher proportion of born again Christians marry (84 percent) compared to the national average (78 percent), recent trends indicate that Americans are growing more comfortable with divorce.  www.christianpost.com

Does that sound a little more than depressing?  It's certainly not encouraging, but it's a life-long marriage is not impossible.  The first year of our marriage was tough.  We were both trying to figure out who we were, how to adjust to being married, letting go of pre-conceived expectations, and meshing two lives into one.  This summer, Honey and I will celebrate 21 yrs. of marriage - I'm not sure how the years passed so quickly, but they did.  I think of those we know with 50+ years of marriage: Honey's parents, my grandparents, the many mature marriages where we attend church.  I know each has not been without struggles, difficult experiences, and boundless joys.  So how did they do it? Do they solely take credit for their long marriages?

Trying to sort your way through marriage without God in your life is like trying to be gracious when you are utterly sleep-deprived.  Love and War

I'd like to introduce you to John and Stasi Eldredge's book: Love and War Devotional for Couples  is heralded as "The 8-week adventure that will help you find the marriage you always dreamed of."

• based on their Love and War book
• simply written and easily understood, - no deep theology, questions, or need for dissection of what was written 
• five daily devotions per week, 2-3 pages long, taking less than 2 minutes to read, allowing time for discussion it may lead to.
• compact with 134 pages, making it easy to take with you where you go 
• specific topics each week with sub-topics each day.
• each day is backed by specific scripture twice each devotional day
• a short prayer penned at the conclusion of each day
• A simple exercise concludes each week, bringing into focus that's weeks topic

I liked the Eldredges' personal voice which reaches both husbands and wives without specifically targeting either, a melding with balance. I appreciated how each weekly topic and devotion unite and build on each other to give ample opportunity for extended conversation on a daily basis.  

This is not a feel-good, bubbly, everything is a fairy-tale devotional with a magic wand, nor is it a fix-it-all, or 12-step program.  In reality, it is a personal, relevant, and applicable tool for couples, newlyweds and those with many years of marriage:

• whom are struggling
• whom desire to strengthen the foundations and commitments, 
• need to do preventative maintenance or repair 

When they speak of finding "the marriage you always dreamed of," you should know that you'll be expected to take a journey, transform, and really work for your marriage - for better or worse, learning and growing.  Are you ready for a journey? How have you worked to save or strengthen your marriage?

If you would like to read the first chapter of Love and War, head on over here for a sneak peak. 

DISCLAIMER: “I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review in exchange for an honest review  If you would like more information on Blogging for Books, head over to Waterbrook Press.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Date Nights + TV = Changes

John 13:34    ³⁴"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another." (New American Standard Bible)

 I can't tell you how many times I've heard someone comment about not marrying someone with the intent of changing them. We've even told our kids this.  When I married Honey, I knew he was a sports nut.  I think it's a genetic thing in his family.  When we talked about getting married (almost 21 yrs ago) and checked on dates available at church, the only ones open were Memorial Day Weekend and June 23.  Honey said there was NO WAY we were getting married on MDW - I was thinking it was because of the traffic and people planning family time and traveling. Nope, it was because that was the weekend of the Indy 500!  Yes, we were thinking on different pages.

I think last night was the first time that I have really annoyed that restaurants display large, flat screened TV's.  Honey and I took advantage of a free night and some restaurant gift cards I had received at Christmas for an impromptu date night at TGI Fridays.  Normally we don't go there, but who can complain about a free meal! a Food was great, server was in training, but really nice, but there are TVs everywhere!  You can't get away from them and to make it worse - most of them are turned to sports stations.  These places are not helping one bit!  My husband has this radar that hones in on anything sports related within a huge mile radius.  He has, in fact, passed this gene on to our oldest son. 

I cannot change Honey, nor do I want to.  Okay, there are a few things I wish were different, but .  This morning I was reading from  Love and War and guess what the topic was?  Yes, changing our spouses... Yes, God!  I'm listening!  Thanks for the reminder and the nudge to make sure the changes start from within me and not expecting the transformation to come from Honey. 

Dear God, I ask you to open my eyes to any styles of relation that I have that are self-serving, self-protective, unloving.  I want to change. I invite you to change me. I choose to repent of every way that is keeping me from truly loving.  Please help me shift my focus from changing my spouse to letting you change me.  Eldredge

I love him, but do I respect him?

I know that I love Honey, but I'm really wondering how much respect I give him...

A few weeks ago, I found myself riding back from a fun time with my dear friend Ester, and she was telling me about a book she had been reading and how it was affecting her marriage. I was intrigued and wanted to know more.

Both of us celebrated 20 years with our spouses, and sometimes, in the "thrill" of daily life, things become complacent, okay, maybe content. But I need to rethink things!  I mean contentment can be a good thing, but as for my marriage, I really want more. 

Content: Desiring no more than what one has

I desperately struggle reading books that are not fiction.  Sometimes I have to read a paragraph twice just to get a really good point, so to purposely pick up a book that is going to take super brain powers is a stretch for me. What book could possibly tempt and entice me?  Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs.

I just started reading it yesterday, so I'm just getting started, but I'm determined to finish to the last page.  In Part 1, the chapters focus on The Crazy Cycle:  Without love, she reacts, Without respect, he Reacts. Okay, so what this means is:

Without love from him, she reacts without respect; without respect from her, he reacts without love.  Around and around it goes...
                                     Dr. Eggerichs

So for now I'm borrowing Ester's copy while they are on vacation until I can  get my own copy because I want to be able to write in my book and take notes - so I can really remember and journal. I do love has this book is infused with Scripture, is a Focus on the Family book and is written in terms that I can understand.  While Ester said that this has not been easy, she can see the positive already happening because she is taking steps toward respect, and in return, she is harvesting love.


I remember a last year when I did the 1 Corth 7:5 Challenge, what an impact it made on our lives.  My poor Honey didn't know I was taking part in this, but he sure noticed!  I'm hoping that Honey will notice a change in my attitude toward him and that he will feel more respected. 

So how are you doing in this area?  Want to join me in this journey?  Have you already read this book and would like to leave me a note about what you discovered?

A little love story

It's 10 a.m. and I'm still in my jammies.  

Don't get me wrong 

I've plenty to do

• mow the yard
• work on quilt
• laundry
• run the vacuum
• do some cleaning

But I find myself thinking back to a love story that started some 22 years ago, and thinking of all the things that God did to bring a cute little boy from Indiana and a small town girl from Kansas together so they could officially meet in  college and eventually decide that they couldn't live without each other.

His Story: It started back when his parents decided to quit the dad's job at Ford Motor Company and move their three boys (college age, Senior, cute 5th grader) to a little town in Oklahoma to become house parents for a Cookson Hills Children's Home. That Cute Boy grew up working hard with his dad with dairy cows, rebuilding an old Ford Truck, playing basketball and football with his buddies.  When it came time for college, he went to a Jr. college in OK, and transferred to a place in KS that offered a special degree he was pursuing.  He had a close knit group of Christian friends through a local campus ministry. Cute Boy graduated from college and started a new job in Memphis, TN,  leaving behind a girl he really liked who was dating someone else.

Her Story:  Parents stationed in Okinawa had two kids, moved to Boston, then Florida, before settling in a extremely small rural KS community near the rest of the extended family.  KS Girl grew up doing stuff with family, active in band and journalism.  Traveled to Haiti and worked in the inner-city in NJ during the summer - she wanted to be a missionary in the inner-city.  She  went to Jr. college in KS before transferring to a Christian college for a year and then transferring to some place in KS where she found a close knit group of Christian friends through a local campus ministry.  Oh, yeah, there was a unit of a small children's home in her small town, whose main unit was in OK...  Imagine that!

KS Girl noticed really Cute Boy (oh yeah, they ended up in the same college, same campus group), and Cute Boy noticed Girl.  He was the night-watchmen in her dorm... so they began talking...  but  both were afraid that dating would mess up a really good friendship... so they continued being just friends. Eventually she thought he wasn't really interested and started dating someone, and Cute Boy graduated and moved far away to a foreign place - TN, leaving behind a girl that wondered if the Cute Boy thought about or remembered her.


Girl stops dating other boy and somehow Cute Boy finds out from his buddy... He took a chance and wrote her a letter. Her heart raced when she received his first letter and slowly, at first they wrote.  Sometimes he would be in town visiting his Buddies and he would stop by.  She thought he was terribly handsome and smelled really good.  He thought she was cute and he liked her.


Soon he was planning his business trips between seeing Little Girl and his parents and the long distance courting began.  Soon they were thinking of forever, but not knowing...

Yea there ain't nothing not affected
When two hearts get connected
All that is will be or ever was
Every single choice we make
Every breath we get to take
Is all because two people fell in love
                            Brad Paisley

Happy 20th Anniversary to Cute Boy from KS Girl

 If you want to read more about our story (He Married me out of revenge) you might get a giggle.

Shhhh...

Honey and I have been married for 18 1/2 years, with 3 kids and so many experiences behind us, but I'm so much looking forward to the rest of my life with this man I love. He gives so much for & to the family. He's a true blessing and leader, friend, and well... This sounds like a good challenge and reminder of what is important to the men in our lives. Well, I've got to get going, lot of cleaning to do to start the challenge. Gotta get those cob webs out of my room! Anyone have a dust rag and trash bag?

Weekend Away makes my heart race

He stood there grinning and showed me the papers... tickets to Talladega Superspeedway. My first thought was when and who was going to go with him. There are so many guys that would jump at the chance to go with him, so I asked him... "YOU! I want you to go with me!" I could see the honesty in his eyes, but still I gave him 2 weeks and plenty of suggestions - Mike, Les, Jeff, his dad... but still he insisted he wanted me to go. See, this is not the first time he's won tickets to Talladega, but the 4th time since 1995, and I had yet to go with him. Something always kept me here - injury or new baby. Finally it was my turn, and I'm so glad I went. I had never been to Alabama before. We had 4 wonderful days to ourselves! Kids gladly stayed with friends and didn't want us to come home, though Grandma and Grandma were a wee bit tired from keeping Connor for us. I'm not going to bore you with all we did, but here's a hint

the Talladega race

watching the movie Fireproof at 10 p.m. eating at Hardrock Cafe in Memphis time to laugh and talk

staying on McCollough Blvd.

(dear friends with this last name)

getting up at 5 a.m. to go to a NASCAR race

began reading The Shack

trying new places to eat

beautiful sunsets

lots of walking!

Sonic Sweet tea & SoBe Green Tea

being among enemies in a friendly land

(Old Miss and Alabama were playing football this last weekend)

We're so thankful to our dear friends and Dave's parents who took our children without a blink of the eye and gave us much needed time.

He married me out of revenge

Leviticus 19:18"Don't seek revenge or carry a grudge against any of your people. "Love your neighbor as yourself. I am God.

Don't we look young in our engagement picture? This week we celebrated our 18th Anniversary of the day we joined our hearts.... Sounds romantic until you know why we really married.... he married me out of revenge.

To be honest, I can't remember when I first saw or met my husband. He was just one of the guys in our Campus Christian group ( http://www.naccm.org/ccpittst ) at the university we attended.It was great group of friends, guys and girls, from all walks of life, brought together by our belief in God and Christ. We were a close, yet very fun loving group. - We spent a lot of time not only in worship,prayer, and encouragement, but we
all loved good clean fun! We were always on the look out for each other, never knowing if our vehicles would be mysteriously decorated during the night, put up on blocks, if we would be bombed with water balloons, or just out for a coke with friends. Many of us married within the group, were in each other's weddings, celebrated new babies, jobs, etc.

He was one of the nightguards in the co-ed dorm I lived in my first year. Suffering from insomnia and wild roommate, I spent a lot of time in the study room late at night. Simple conversations about everyday life, family, studies, and Campus Christians. We soon discovered we knew some of the same people, though we were from different states. We had instant history, friendship, and fun. I'd leave Hershey kisses or a note in his mail box at the Campus house where he lived and he'd leave me the daily comics under my door when he worked.

Then it happened. Omininous notes started appearing with my comics, and my car got 'waxed'. Was he a closet stalker? No, he felt sure I had trashed his room (labels off of soup cans, confetti, etc) while he was at a football game and he told me he would "get even" ºÜº someday. Neither of us admitting anything, we continued our chats and spending time with each other in group settings. Sadly the end of the year brought his graduation. He moved to Memphis and I moved into an apartment with a Christian girl from the group. I missed him, our talks, and our friendship. We started writing and when he was in town, there was always something to do with the group and our friendship grew. I knew that he really liked me when he gave me his calling card number, but we kept the letters coming.

We had both been praying about where to go from there and talked about goals and stuff. Dave knew he had to talk to my Mom and brother before we could talk about getting married and a visit with my brother in the turnip patch resulted in consent to ask me to marry him. On Oct. 13 (yes it was a Friday) in the early evening hours beside our favorite park bench, the man of my dreams bent down to pick up something in the dirt and came up with a diamond ring. There I was in a ratty pair of sweats and hair pulled in a pony tail with my jaw opening and closing like a fish gasping for water. Seven months later I graduated from college and then married my best friend. He never really asked me out on a date until after we were engaged. We just always hung around together with our friends and family

What about the revenge?? When we got married and I opened up his pantry door to make dinner, what I saw gave me cause to laugh - he had saved those unmarked cans just for me! Revenge was sweet that day! Since then, I've had a goal to be the best wife I could, I've failed miserably so many times, and grown in our 18 years. Have I finished growing and learning? Not hardly. Will I fail again? Probably. Should I stop aspiring to be a better wife? Not really.

"If you don't have a plan, then you plan to fail."

Our minister once told us "Turn off the noise in your life so you can hear what God is trying to tell you." What is it I hunger for and how much of that is really just a bunch of noise? Is it a a clean house, time with family, money, position, health? I guess what I really want to aspire for are relationships. Relationships not only with my dear husband and children, but ultimately God. May I aspire to grow in Him so that I may be a better Mom, wife, and friend.

Psalm 97:11: Light is sown like seed for the righteous and gladness for the upright in heart.

Galatians 5:22-23 says But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness, self-control;