Sewing Relief

After more than five years hiatus, due to a family illness, from sewing and quilting, I began again.

I connected with the designer from Blue Moon Embroidery  from Malta, near Italy, with fantastic embroidery designs, that I have started testing designs for. I love how her  designs stitch out! It’s still sitting on my shelf, folded and ready to leave my sewing room. 

For nephew and niece on Honey’s side of the family that has twins.

For Dear Daughter and Son-in-love, using fabric from their Pinwheels and Postage Stamps wedding Quilt Four years ago.

For a sister of my heart, has been there for me through so many hard times and the good, yet she still chooses to be my friend.

For The QL... who has taught me so much and challenges me to learn more and challenge myself

Under my needle on Francis, my sewing machine. QL challenged me with sketching out the FMQ designs before stitching them out.  Admittedly, she was right on this one (as always).  I noticed a new FMQ design called Onion Peel.  It's hard to find a good tutorial or example on how to achieve this, so I cornered QL in church (shameless, I know).  She quickly whipped out a scrap of paper, and it suddenly made sense.  I'm such a visual person.  Working on matching quilt. Hope to sell it.

Branching out on paper piecing with this boy quilt. I’m still working on how I’m going to quilt it. I'm thinking of clouds and a flight path for each paper plane. Hope to sell it as well...

Mowing by Osmosis

Growing up, I was expected to help out around the house.  I never got an allowance or was paid to do those jobs, but incurring the disappointment of Mom by not doing them or doing them not to her expectations was not a good thing.  Typically resulted in completely redoing the chore or a really good chewing out. Being a single mom most of her Mom years, meant she needed help and I needed to learn these things. I wasn't always the brightest star in the sky.

  Webster's Dictionary defines Osmosis as this: :  a process of absorption or diffusion suggestive of the flow of osmotic action; especially :  a usually effortless often unconscious assimilation 

Smart Tutor states: “Learning through osmosis” is an analogy for natural, organic and  indirect way of learning. To learn through osmosis means to learn by immersion an exposure. For example, children learn their family’s native language through osmosis.

So if you want your child to learn something, immerse them as much as possible in whatever it is as a way of learning seamlessly. Learning a language is a prime example of this, however it can apply to anything, through a gradual, unconscious process... You never know what they will pick up and what connections they will make."  

While I do agree that kids pick up on things they have observed, some things just need to be outright taught.  As a mom, I understand this completely. It's the countless hours of doing and folding laundry, vacuuming and moping the floors, putting away dishes, brushing their teeth, making their beds, driving to them to various functions and so much more.  You think they would observe you doing these things daily, but these are things we've had to teach our kids. Sometimes, they pick up on things we never knew they were observing, and it befuddles us. 

Mom, brother, and myself (at the wheel)

Every time I help Honey mow the yard,  I am reminded of my mom.  In fact, I remember the first time I was allowed to use the riding mower and it was not good.  My mom had mowed the yard hundreds of times, but I didn't sit there observing her while taking notes.  That's where she went wrong.  That red Snapper mower was a work horse, but the secret to a nicely mowed yard and making it work efficiently was due to my mom's persistence to details and taking care of her equipment.  I remember standing by her side as she showed me how to clean the under carriage of the mower, scraping off all the moist grass and dirt, hosing it down with a strong stream of water, and leaving it clean and ready to go the next time.  She showed me how to add gas, oil, check the spark plugs,  lower the mower deck, etc, but I not ever remember her teaching me specifically how to mow the yard.  

similar to my first mowing

Disaster in the making. We had over 10 acres to mow of our yard, grandma's yard, and pastures, and she couldn't do it by herself.  She told me what section to start on, made sure the deck height was just right, told me to stay on speed 3, and walked off.  I wonder if she watched from a distance or just hoped I was listening.  It was pretty fun and I thought I was doing pretty good until I heard her yelling at me while waving her arms.  Her face conveyed she was pretty upset and I had no clue.  Did you know that you're not supposed to mow your name in the yard, do great spiral designs, and not run over her favorite blooming flowers?  Yep, I told you it was a disaster!  After I got a fantastic chewing out and precise instructions that I wasn't to nick the trees, to follow a pattern, not mow in the center to a wide piece leaving a small section on either side of the mower, to set my eyes on a marker in the distance and mow straight towards it, so I would mow in a straight line. You get the picture right? With instructions, I actually did pretty well, but I'm not an osmosis learner by any means.

  I love mowing actually.  It's me time.  I put on my earphones, set my Mamma Mia music to play and sing madly along as I go, but I always am reminded of my mamma and that first time I ever mowed.  I now set my eyes on a marker, as I make each turn, but every once-in-a-while, I am tempted to mow my name in the yard... 

Time and Memories move in two directions

"Time moves in one direction, memory moves in another." -William Gibson

Some of my earliest memories are flashes of the late 60's and muted colors- greens, reds, a friendly Irish setter, snow (lots of snow),  a lighthouse, and a friend who wore an eye patch.

Pretty random, but all of those memories have one thing in common - my Mom.  She was the one that built a snow igloo in Boston and giggled with us as we froze, took us to the lighthouse and romped with us on the Massachusetts shoreline after exploring Plymouth and the MayFlower.  She was not afraid to be silly, take us on adventures, chew us out, or make things fun.  She worked hard to make sure we knew how to do chores, do our best in school, be responsible for our decision and actions, and learn about Jesus.  She taught me how to fly kites, fish, hunt for pheasants (yes, with a gun), make things that we couldn't afford, save for what we wanted or needed, and know that we were loved.

In 2009, we began seeing changes in Mom and eventually, she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease.  On October 20, 2016, my Mom changed her residence from earth to Heaven, and is forever free from the horrible disease that robbed her in so many ways.

Mom would have been so horrified to know how the Alzheimer's had left her.  I know that's why she tried to hide it so long from us.  She learned early in life to be independent, and I feel she knew something wasn't right. She knew things were changing.  She would have mourned

Momma and Sister

Missing her grandchildren getting married, and having babies of their own.

• Not being close to Sister and the closeness they shared. 
• Not being in her own home, church, and with her friends
• Taking care of "her birds" and helping others like she did. 

In the midst of all this, I knew I was losing the Mom I always had, but I didn't want others to think less of Mom or forget who she was.  I didn't want the Alzheimer's to define her or us.  It was just a final speed bump and challenge that she would experience and endure. There are a few things I am thankful for during these last few years:

• For the first time, we spent an incredible amount of time together that we normally would not have had.  It wasn't easy, but we did have some laughter, many tears, challenges, and memories.  It was a strange, but rare gift I am so thankful for.  
• Momma would not remember all the hurts, frustrations, anxiety, the health issues it presented, nor how it made her behave.  
• It brought our family closer through the challenges and gave us experiences that helped us to empathize with others walking through this journey. 

Our family has been "fortunate" that we have not experienced grief and loss, but we knew that it was coming.  With Mom, I grieved with each visit and memory that would pop up, and with her disease, there is a dual grieving time and I didn't quite understand that completely, but I live it almost daily.  

It's in the still of the night, when all other distractions of the day, are quiet, that the only thing moving is my brain.  It's then that the memories and pictures start playing in technicolor, and somehow, my brain starts adding to those memories. It doesn't matter how tightly I close my eyes or try to think of nothing, they rush at me like waves on the beach, constant, inching closer and closer, till I'm left with a restlessness that is resolved only by filling the void with quiet nighttime distractions.

I wanted to share with you what I shared with family and friends at Mom's celebration service following her death. It is about things I learned from Mom, but I wish I had added one more paragraph - what I learned from Mom about Faith and God, but my brain was attempting to put a whole life into five minutes, and I just couldn't do it. Mom would not have liked all the attention and people talking about what a great person she was.  But we did. We tried to honor Mom during her service, so Elvis, Alan Jackson, and Cat Stevens "came" to sing, and at Mom's graveside service we shot off fireworks.  Yep!  Right there in the cemetery we lit her favorite "One Bad Mother" and the 100 Missile shots. I think she would have been delighted, but she would have made sure we picked up every bit of trash because that's how she was.

Mom taught me a lot of lessons growing up.  They weren’t through lectures or even those switches I had to cut from the tree out back, but they were through daily life.  riding a bike down a dusty gravel road, learning to balance without holding on to the handle bars while clapping and singing about Peter and John healing a lame man.

“If you fall off, you get back on and don’t give up.”  This is what my mom told my 8-year-old self when my new birthday gift, a palomino, decided to bolt and I didn’t have my feet in the stirrups. When she finally caught up with us 5 blocks later, I was shaking and couldn’t wait to get off that horse… But she wouldn’t let me and made me ride that horse, with corrected stirrups, all the way home.  We later had the best memories riding our horses in the country.  She didn’t once tell me I couldn’t break or train my colt, but encouraged me to work every day, sharing what she knew from growing up on the farm, showing and checking to make sure I wasn’t missing any important steps.

Don’t quit… Mom never let me quit anything, just because it was hard or I lost interest. The first day of college was always the hardest for me, and exactly three times, I called her from the payphone, begging her to come get me and let me come back home.  She would drive over two hours to the college, help me settle in and then drive all the way back home.

Be frugal and Creative – She had many interest - wood working, crafting, taking care of wildlife birds, and taking care of others. We didn’t have a lot of money growing up, but from the time I was a baby, mom created clothing for me until the time I married.  Side-by-side, she taught me to read patterns, make short cuts, and pattern alteration. Hands on learning at it’s best!  When I was growing up, she created the cutest and fun birthday cakes that looked so professional. This only frustrated me when I attempted to do the same for my children and they ended up looking like something a child would do.

Plan and know!!!  She was a planner… She would research anything she wanted to purchase, pros and cons, or plan to do.   That is something I inherited from her.  She always knew the day of the month of the year that she would pay off any bill or save for what she needed.  Sometimes I think that may have been a curse she tossed my direction.   As the sign changer for TCC, she prided herself at not using the same saying more than once.

Life is an adventure – Have fun and laugh!   We used to play tons of games growing up, and whether it was Candy Land, Gin Rummy, or Yahtzee, she never went easy on me and let me win.  A win against her was earned!  When my brother graduated from college, she drove to Joplin to stay with me so we could go to his graduation.  The night before the ceremony, she decided she wanted to TeePee and fork his yard. It was a ton of fun to sneak over there and decorate, but a little instruction on holding on to the end of the roll when you throw it was needed.  She loved being silly, holidays with the family and making a big deal of accomplishments, small or large, but she didn’t like the focus to be on herself.

 Grandkids – She was an awesome grandma and loved seeing them when she could, creating memories and traditions as she went.  We didn’t always see eye-to-eye on how she wanted to spoil them, but she loved them like crazy.  From creating giant bubble solutions, teaching them to drive stick-shift, holding tea-parties, shooting off works, chase fire-flies, sticking a coffee packet on her nose to get the kids to laugh, listening to them play their musical instruments together, or always having waffles with homemade blueberry syrup when we stay with her.  

I would also like to share what my sweet cousin and friend, Raine, wrote,  because she shared her heart and memories from a different perspective.

Many family gatherings were spent at Aunt Betty’s.  As a young child, I was always excited to go to Niotaze to spend time with my many cousins, Aunt’s, Uncle’s and Grandparents.    Since Aunt Betty lived right across the road from my Grandparents, it was always a bonus because I would get to see Aunt Betty, Lynnet and Bryan every time I would visit my Grandparents.   After my Grandparents passed, Aunt Betty’s house became the place for all the family gatherings.    At Easter, the cousins would gather to hunt Easter eggs in her yard; a tradition that continued with the birth of her grandchildren and great nieces and nephews.    A yard that was always neatly manicured, adorned with beautiful Japanese Maple trees around her patio to the peach trees and grapevines growing on the east of her property and a large garden to the south.   

4^th of July was always spent at Aunt Betty’s – A family tradition that my children always looked forward to attending.   It seemed each year, the fireworks show be better than the year before.   Because 4^th of July was her favorite holiday, she saved money just to go shopping at Jakes in Coffeyville with her sister Jerre, my Mom,  carrying the list of which fireworks were her favorite -  A list that was created from the previous year.   You see, there was a rule we had to follow.  Us kids gradually learned the requirements it took to be able to light ANY of the fireworks with Aunt Betty’s satisfaction and for people that knew the rules, we would secretly laugh at the ones that broke the rules or were unaware of the rules.   1.) You first had to announce the name of the firework you were getting ready to light.   2) You also had to make sure she heard the name of the item that was going to be lit.  3.) You then had to make sure she had time to write it down.     THEN she would way ‘OK!  I’m ready!”    Afterwards, she would give the item a rating as to whether it was worthy of being part of next year’s fireworks show!    New comers to the gatherings, such as friends, or impatient and anxious teenagers that wanted to hurry and shoot off some fireworks, were often scolded for not announcing what was being lit and sometimes had to retrieve the already shot item and try to read the name of firework.   Words like “Wow!”  “Alright!” and even “That was a dud!  I’m marking that off the list!”  were the comments she would make! Aunt Betty was serious about her fireworks and we all were thankful to be able to share this love with her.   A love which resulted in creating memories with three generations of family.

When I was 12, I was in the hospital because I broke my leg and Aunt Betty came to sit with me.  The following year, I had my tonsils removed and because of some complications, I didn’t go home right away and again, Aunt Betty came to sit with me.  At one of the visits she cheerfully stated “I brought you something from home that is much softer than anything you have here!”  I look over to see her pulling a roll of toilet paper out of her bag!  She always had a way of making me laugh!   Always a caring heart.   

At Thanksgiving she always made her famous pumpkin pies adorned with a crust leaf in the center and a cranberry dish that was always in the same white stemmed milk glass bowl.    She always remembered our birthdays, sending a card in the mail, being there for my children’s first birthday, graduations and wedding.    Aunt Betty was a stranger to no one, always being fascinated or interested with the people around her and making them comfortable.   She worked hard for everything she had, took pride in her children and grandchildren and loved life being in the outdoors.   She will be greatly missed by many and I can imagine that when she saw Heaven the first time, she said her famous word “WOW!” 

Lynnet

“Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” Vicki Harrison

Dinner with a smile

Youngest's Grilled bacon cheese sandwich

Tonight was Youngest's turn to fix dinner

His menu of choice? Grilled cheese and bacon sandwiches. It's hard to step back and let them create and learn, but he did well and his new wisdom was "making dinner tonight is like a vacation compared to homemade chicken nuggets! I can do this!"

We had a whole lesson on burns, cuts, safety, ecoli, staph, botulism, and other wonderful food things... He kept calling botulism "chewbotulism". This kid even had to insert his personality in it as well!

He makes me smile!


If you would like the read the story on how we have "guest chef's" four nights a week, click over here

Guest "chef"

One handed egg cracking

 Last week, Youngest and I were discussing skills he needs when he grows up, cooking being one of them, especially for a new Eagle required MB (merit badge) for Boy Scouts.

"Oh, I don't need to learn how to cook. When I go to college, I'll live at home and eat your food, like Oldest and Only do. Then I'll get married, and my wife will cook. If she is ever gone, I'll eat sandwiches, cereal, and microwaveable meals," he says with a smirk.  Note: Making Mac and Cheese in the microwave, fixing a bowl of cereal, and using an MRE while on a Boy Scout campout, does not count as cooking. 

Only's spaghetti

Youngest went on to dig himself a deeper hole and before he knew it, he was suddenly in charge of dinner: pancakes from scratch, bacon, making the buttermilk, making homemade maple syrup, and scrambled eggs. For his first REAL meal, he did okay. None of us died.  He learned how to crack eggs with one hand and admitted "It's really hard to multi-task when cooking!"

Youngest's Popcorn chicken

Before the end of the meal, each child picked a night they would cook for the family. They just have to get a list of their needs to me. Dave said he was going to get his mom to make his, but we told him that was illegal and against the "rules."  Ha!  So far, the kids have done well with minimal help (not counting cooking instructions with Youngest), but it's really hard to sit back, wait until they get home from work and start cooking, but they have met the challenge well.  Only made homemade spaghetti sauce  and Oldest did some searching on his own and came up with his own menu and found a recipe he wanted to use. Only protested he chose fish because she can't stand it, but I reminded her that if she refuses to eat what someone else has prepared, it can be offensive and rude.  All she has to do is try it, and she can always refuse seconds or request a small portion. She ate what he had prepared.

It has been rather interesting to see my boys in the kitchen.  Things I assumed they would know because they grew up here, they don't.  Makes me feel like I've really messed up because I've not done this sooner or required them in the kitchen more regularly. Only has been in the kitchen with me regularly, she usually comes in to see how she can help, so she knows what it really takes and I have much confidence and appreciation for her.

• Mom, we don't have any black pepper  (it's in the pepper grinder for fresh pepper, not in a McCormick jar).   
• Where do we keep the big flat cooking things?  You know, the things you put cookies and bread on.  (Oh, you mean a cookie sheet?).  
• How do I broil something.  Isn't it the same as baking? 
• Where is the salt container and how do I fix rice? 
•  There's a difference between dry and liquid measuring cups! 
• You mean I can't use the same cutting board for meat as I do for veggies?
•  How am I supposed to measure the pepper from the grinder (as he attempts to shake the pepper from the grinder into a measuring spoon)? 
• Oops!  Guess we're having really brown bread - wasn't thinking to check it.

 I have learned a few things: My family has much to learn, we hang out in the kitchen more while the guest chef prepares the evening meal, and they seem to actually look forward to when they cook!  If I do help, it is to as an assistant or to answer questions. I hope to move them into doing grocery planning and shopping on a budget.  I've clearly begun this a little too late in their lives, but it will be okay. 
 

Oldest Fish Dish

 I had to laugh when a friend of mine told me about her son who is in the Marines: 

 Sounds soooooo familiar! Then i got calls from my new Marine, Mom, how do you: cook tuna out of a can?, cook a precooked chicken breast, make mac-n-cheese....scramble eggs! I LOVED Laughing a full minute before I would tell him how!  Celeste

 

Did you teach your kids how to cook, do you feel they are prepared or on their way to being prepared to be on their own, and how did you do it?  What age were they when they joined you in the kitchen?  Is there anything you would have done differently?

The master of distraction

Pix from Bethel Life

I started to write this post a few months ago and deleted it. Then our senior minister spoke about "The Enemy Among us" (2 Corinthians 11:14) and I started to write it again - Deleted again.

For the last 18 years I've served as part of the worship team, playing almost every Sunday at both services.  Our church has dual Worship/Sunday School/Bible Studies during each hour and since worship takes up 20 minutes at the beginning and 10 minutes at the end of each hour, it is near impossible to take part in any of them without disturbing those in class or just not getting what was being taught.  I can't tell you the last time I was part of a class.  I suppose it was when we only did one worship hour and Sunday School followed - more than 15 yrs. ago. I used to sneak back in to sit with the family unless they were sitting way in the middle of everyone, but it is easier just to sit in the Gathering Area on one of the comfy chairs with the rest of the team.  It wasn't until they did some rearranging of the teams (I only play once a month now), that I started regularly being able to worship freely without being "up there" and didn't have the excuse of missing the sermon.  You know it was refreshing and drew me back to Him.  The drawing away was so gradual - kinda like putting a frog in a pot of cold water and gradually heating up the pot so the frog doesn't know he's dying.  Not that I've done this.

Why am I telling you this?  I think Satan goes to church and looks for ways to distract our relationship with God.  He uses our excuses of being on the Worship team or Bible School leader to miss the message (aka talking with those on the worship team) or Bible Study.

He distracts us with:

• pink hair (yes there is a lady in our congregation with pink hair) 
• kids kicking the back of your chair
• the Bible study leader is WAY over my head!  Wonder if they can use 3rd grade words? 
• eating after church
• I can't believe THEY are here!  I heard about what they did last week (gossip)
• mentally checking out and thinking about the week ahead
• seeing someone you just HAVE to talk to and do
• pastor was too personal, the sermon applied and made you uncomfortable
• was that a CELL phone going off?  Who didn't turn off their phone??? 
• Maybe it's the person who isn't dressed the way YOU think they should
• the lights are too dim
• Oh, look at that cute outfit!  Wonder where they got it?
• lights are too bright
• hmmm, wonder if there are any more donuts left, I missed breakfast
• is your child behaving in class after having a rough morning
• pastor went too long
• I wonder if they know their tag is showing
• music is too loud  
• Maybe he reminds you of something you did or thought and you've not asked for forgiveness from the other person or God. 
• Does he whisper in your ear "that we can solve that issue ourselves, don't bother God again with something so trivial"
• Jr. High kids are talking and distracting on the back row during the message
• worship team was out of sync or they didn't do any songs you like
• personality conflicts with someone 

 Do you know he looks for ways to destroy our effectiveness by using anger, unforgiveness, stealing our joy?

Ephesians 6:12    For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. (NASB)

John 10:10  The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.  (NASB)

So what should be done when Satan shows up?

1. Submit to God and resist the devil - James 4:7 
2. Recognize the lies he feeds us - Colossians 2:13-15
3. Take our thoughts captive, don't dwell on them, and give them up to Him - 2 Corinthians 10:5
4. Seek Him and send satan away - Matthew 6:33

Matthew 6:33   But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.  (NASB)

Can you see where I'm going with this?  I usually don't write about spiritual matters, because it takes so long for me to process things, but this has really been on my heart for a few months now and I feel He has been prompting me to hit publish.  I realize that this goes too easily into our home and personal lives, but I've struggled way too long with this just at church.  What are some ways that Satan comes to church and attempts to distract you? How has God shown you the realities of what satan is doing in your life?

Little Miss Muffet - Making Cottage Cheese

Little Miss Muffet, sat on a tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey;
Along came a spider, who sat down beside her
And frightened Miss Muffet away.

 I'm not a fan of spiders, though we once had a pet tarantula, but I'll fancy to say that, after my cooking adventure tonight, it wasn't the spider that scared Miss Muffet away. It was the part of the process to get the curds that must have scared her.  


There was something just not right with breakfast of milk and Grapenuts. The milk was clumpy and smelled funny so  I double checked the expiration and I still had 5 days! I was little upset to think that lost close to $6 of milk because both gallons were soured.  I could have put two gallons of gas in the car!

There had to be a way to use all this milk without pouring it down the drain. I research revealed I could make cottage cheese with it.  I really was not wanting to take up my whole day doing this, so I was thrilled to find it would take very little of my day.

What I found was a simple process that yielded a surprising yummy result.  I now know why the spider scared Miss Muffet.  Her mother must have made her some homemade cottage cheese!  If you'd like to see the recipe and result, head over to my cooking blog, try it, and either leave me a note there or come back here to tell me how it turned out.  Me?  I'll certainly make cottage cheese again!