Mowing by Osmosis

Growing up, I was expected to help out around the house.  I never got an allowance or was paid to do those jobs, but incurring the disappointment of Mom by not doing them or doing them not to her expectations was not a good thing.  Typically resulted in completely redoing the chore or a really good chewing out. Being a single mom most of her Mom years, meant she needed help and I needed to learn these things. I wasn't always the brightest star in the sky.

  Webster's Dictionary defines Osmosis as this: :  a process of absorption or diffusion suggestive of the flow of osmotic action; especially :  a usually effortless often unconscious assimilation 

Smart Tutor states: “Learning through osmosis” is an analogy for natural, organic and  indirect way of learning. To learn through osmosis means to learn by immersion an exposure. For example, children learn their family’s native language through osmosis.

So if you want your child to learn something, immerse them as much as possible in whatever it is as a way of learning seamlessly. Learning a language is a prime example of this, however it can apply to anything, through a gradual, unconscious process... You never know what they will pick up and what connections they will make."  

While I do agree that kids pick up on things they have observed, some things just need to be outright taught.  As a mom, I understand this completely. It's the countless hours of doing and folding laundry, vacuuming and moping the floors, putting away dishes, brushing their teeth, making their beds, driving to them to various functions and so much more.  You think they would observe you doing these things daily, but these are things we've had to teach our kids. Sometimes, they pick up on things we never knew they were observing, and it befuddles us. 

Mom, brother, and myself (at the wheel)

Every time I help Honey mow the yard,  I am reminded of my mom.  In fact, I remember the first time I was allowed to use the riding mower and it was not good.  My mom had mowed the yard hundreds of times, but I didn't sit there observing her while taking notes.  That's where she went wrong.  That red Snapper mower was a work horse, but the secret to a nicely mowed yard and making it work efficiently was due to my mom's persistence to details and taking care of her equipment.  I remember standing by her side as she showed me how to clean the under carriage of the mower, scraping off all the moist grass and dirt, hosing it down with a strong stream of water, and leaving it clean and ready to go the next time.  She showed me how to add gas, oil, check the spark plugs,  lower the mower deck, etc, but I not ever remember her teaching me specifically how to mow the yard.  

similar to my first mowing

Disaster in the making. We had over 10 acres to mow of our yard, grandma's yard, and pastures, and she couldn't do it by herself.  She told me what section to start on, made sure the deck height was just right, told me to stay on speed 3, and walked off.  I wonder if she watched from a distance or just hoped I was listening.  It was pretty fun and I thought I was doing pretty good until I heard her yelling at me while waving her arms.  Her face conveyed she was pretty upset and I had no clue.  Did you know that you're not supposed to mow your name in the yard, do great spiral designs, and not run over her favorite blooming flowers?  Yep, I told you it was a disaster!  After I got a fantastic chewing out and precise instructions that I wasn't to nick the trees, to follow a pattern, not mow in the center to a wide piece leaving a small section on either side of the mower, to set my eyes on a marker in the distance and mow straight towards it, so I would mow in a straight line. You get the picture right? With instructions, I actually did pretty well, but I'm not an osmosis learner by any means.

  I love mowing actually.  It's me time.  I put on my earphones, set my Mamma Mia music to play and sing madly along as I go, but I always am reminded of my mamma and that first time I ever mowed.  I now set my eyes on a marker, as I make each turn, but every once-in-a-while, I am tempted to mow my name in the yard... 

Time and Memories move in two directions

"Time moves in one direction, memory moves in another." -William Gibson

Some of my earliest memories are flashes of the late 60's and muted colors- greens, reds, a friendly Irish setter, snow (lots of snow),  a lighthouse, and a friend who wore an eye patch.

Pretty random, but all of those memories have one thing in common - my Mom.  She was the one that built a snow igloo in Boston and giggled with us as we froze, took us to the lighthouse and romped with us on the Massachusetts shoreline after exploring Plymouth and the MayFlower.  She was not afraid to be silly, take us on adventures, chew us out, or make things fun.  She worked hard to make sure we knew how to do chores, do our best in school, be responsible for our decision and actions, and learn about Jesus.  She taught me how to fly kites, fish, hunt for pheasants (yes, with a gun), make things that we couldn't afford, save for what we wanted or needed, and know that we were loved.

In 2009, we began seeing changes in Mom and eventually, she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease.  On October 20, 2016, my Mom changed her residence from earth to Heaven, and is forever free from the horrible disease that robbed her in so many ways.

Mom would have been so horrified to know how the Alzheimer's had left her.  I know that's why she tried to hide it so long from us.  She learned early in life to be independent, and I feel she knew something wasn't right. She knew things were changing.  She would have mourned

Momma and Sister

Missing her grandchildren getting married, and having babies of their own.

• Not being close to Sister and the closeness they shared. 
• Not being in her own home, church, and with her friends
• Taking care of "her birds" and helping others like she did. 

In the midst of all this, I knew I was losing the Mom I always had, but I didn't want others to think less of Mom or forget who she was.  I didn't want the Alzheimer's to define her or us.  It was just a final speed bump and challenge that she would experience and endure. There are a few things I am thankful for during these last few years:

• For the first time, we spent an incredible amount of time together that we normally would not have had.  It wasn't easy, but we did have some laughter, many tears, challenges, and memories.  It was a strange, but rare gift I am so thankful for.  
• Momma would not remember all the hurts, frustrations, anxiety, the health issues it presented, nor how it made her behave.  
• It brought our family closer through the challenges and gave us experiences that helped us to empathize with others walking through this journey. 

Our family has been "fortunate" that we have not experienced grief and loss, but we knew that it was coming.  With Mom, I grieved with each visit and memory that would pop up, and with her disease, there is a dual grieving time and I didn't quite understand that completely, but I live it almost daily.  

It's in the still of the night, when all other distractions of the day, are quiet, that the only thing moving is my brain.  It's then that the memories and pictures start playing in technicolor, and somehow, my brain starts adding to those memories. It doesn't matter how tightly I close my eyes or try to think of nothing, they rush at me like waves on the beach, constant, inching closer and closer, till I'm left with a restlessness that is resolved only by filling the void with quiet nighttime distractions.

I wanted to share with you what I shared with family and friends at Mom's celebration service following her death. It is about things I learned from Mom, but I wish I had added one more paragraph - what I learned from Mom about Faith and God, but my brain was attempting to put a whole life into five minutes, and I just couldn't do it. Mom would not have liked all the attention and people talking about what a great person she was.  But we did. We tried to honor Mom during her service, so Elvis, Alan Jackson, and Cat Stevens "came" to sing, and at Mom's graveside service we shot off fireworks.  Yep!  Right there in the cemetery we lit her favorite "One Bad Mother" and the 100 Missile shots. I think she would have been delighted, but she would have made sure we picked up every bit of trash because that's how she was.

Mom taught me a lot of lessons growing up.  They weren’t through lectures or even those switches I had to cut from the tree out back, but they were through daily life.  riding a bike down a dusty gravel road, learning to balance without holding on to the handle bars while clapping and singing about Peter and John healing a lame man.

“If you fall off, you get back on and don’t give up.”  This is what my mom told my 8-year-old self when my new birthday gift, a palomino, decided to bolt and I didn’t have my feet in the stirrups. When she finally caught up with us 5 blocks later, I was shaking and couldn’t wait to get off that horse… But she wouldn’t let me and made me ride that horse, with corrected stirrups, all the way home.  We later had the best memories riding our horses in the country.  She didn’t once tell me I couldn’t break or train my colt, but encouraged me to work every day, sharing what she knew from growing up on the farm, showing and checking to make sure I wasn’t missing any important steps.

Don’t quit… Mom never let me quit anything, just because it was hard or I lost interest. The first day of college was always the hardest for me, and exactly three times, I called her from the payphone, begging her to come get me and let me come back home.  She would drive over two hours to the college, help me settle in and then drive all the way back home.

Be frugal and Creative – She had many interest - wood working, crafting, taking care of wildlife birds, and taking care of others. We didn’t have a lot of money growing up, but from the time I was a baby, mom created clothing for me until the time I married.  Side-by-side, she taught me to read patterns, make short cuts, and pattern alteration. Hands on learning at it’s best!  When I was growing up, she created the cutest and fun birthday cakes that looked so professional. This only frustrated me when I attempted to do the same for my children and they ended up looking like something a child would do.

Plan and know!!!  She was a planner… She would research anything she wanted to purchase, pros and cons, or plan to do.   That is something I inherited from her.  She always knew the day of the month of the year that she would pay off any bill or save for what she needed.  Sometimes I think that may have been a curse she tossed my direction.   As the sign changer for TCC, she prided herself at not using the same saying more than once.

Life is an adventure – Have fun and laugh!   We used to play tons of games growing up, and whether it was Candy Land, Gin Rummy, or Yahtzee, she never went easy on me and let me win.  A win against her was earned!  When my brother graduated from college, she drove to Joplin to stay with me so we could go to his graduation.  The night before the ceremony, she decided she wanted to TeePee and fork his yard. It was a ton of fun to sneak over there and decorate, but a little instruction on holding on to the end of the roll when you throw it was needed.  She loved being silly, holidays with the family and making a big deal of accomplishments, small or large, but she didn’t like the focus to be on herself.

 Grandkids – She was an awesome grandma and loved seeing them when she could, creating memories and traditions as she went.  We didn’t always see eye-to-eye on how she wanted to spoil them, but she loved them like crazy.  From creating giant bubble solutions, teaching them to drive stick-shift, holding tea-parties, shooting off works, chase fire-flies, sticking a coffee packet on her nose to get the kids to laugh, listening to them play their musical instruments together, or always having waffles with homemade blueberry syrup when we stay with her.  

I would also like to share what my sweet cousin and friend, Raine, wrote,  because she shared her heart and memories from a different perspective.

Many family gatherings were spent at Aunt Betty’s.  As a young child, I was always excited to go to Niotaze to spend time with my many cousins, Aunt’s, Uncle’s and Grandparents.    Since Aunt Betty lived right across the road from my Grandparents, it was always a bonus because I would get to see Aunt Betty, Lynnet and Bryan every time I would visit my Grandparents.   After my Grandparents passed, Aunt Betty’s house became the place for all the family gatherings.    At Easter, the cousins would gather to hunt Easter eggs in her yard; a tradition that continued with the birth of her grandchildren and great nieces and nephews.    A yard that was always neatly manicured, adorned with beautiful Japanese Maple trees around her patio to the peach trees and grapevines growing on the east of her property and a large garden to the south.   

4^th of July was always spent at Aunt Betty’s – A family tradition that my children always looked forward to attending.   It seemed each year, the fireworks show be better than the year before.   Because 4^th of July was her favorite holiday, she saved money just to go shopping at Jakes in Coffeyville with her sister Jerre, my Mom,  carrying the list of which fireworks were her favorite -  A list that was created from the previous year.   You see, there was a rule we had to follow.  Us kids gradually learned the requirements it took to be able to light ANY of the fireworks with Aunt Betty’s satisfaction and for people that knew the rules, we would secretly laugh at the ones that broke the rules or were unaware of the rules.   1.) You first had to announce the name of the firework you were getting ready to light.   2) You also had to make sure she heard the name of the item that was going to be lit.  3.) You then had to make sure she had time to write it down.     THEN she would way ‘OK!  I’m ready!”    Afterwards, she would give the item a rating as to whether it was worthy of being part of next year’s fireworks show!    New comers to the gatherings, such as friends, or impatient and anxious teenagers that wanted to hurry and shoot off some fireworks, were often scolded for not announcing what was being lit and sometimes had to retrieve the already shot item and try to read the name of firework.   Words like “Wow!”  “Alright!” and even “That was a dud!  I’m marking that off the list!”  were the comments she would make! Aunt Betty was serious about her fireworks and we all were thankful to be able to share this love with her.   A love which resulted in creating memories with three generations of family.

When I was 12, I was in the hospital because I broke my leg and Aunt Betty came to sit with me.  The following year, I had my tonsils removed and because of some complications, I didn’t go home right away and again, Aunt Betty came to sit with me.  At one of the visits she cheerfully stated “I brought you something from home that is much softer than anything you have here!”  I look over to see her pulling a roll of toilet paper out of her bag!  She always had a way of making me laugh!   Always a caring heart.   

At Thanksgiving she always made her famous pumpkin pies adorned with a crust leaf in the center and a cranberry dish that was always in the same white stemmed milk glass bowl.    She always remembered our birthdays, sending a card in the mail, being there for my children’s first birthday, graduations and wedding.    Aunt Betty was a stranger to no one, always being fascinated or interested with the people around her and making them comfortable.   She worked hard for everything she had, took pride in her children and grandchildren and loved life being in the outdoors.   She will be greatly missed by many and I can imagine that when she saw Heaven the first time, she said her famous word “WOW!” 

Lynnet

“Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” Vicki Harrison

Looking for the light...

My Momma

Sunday was Mother's Day and after lunch with Honey, Youngest and two friends, and a nap, I slipped out of the house to visit Mom.  Occasionally, Mom will get a few cards from friends back home and I try to read them to her when I visit. This time I went armed with a Braums Strawberry shake for her and a chocolate one for me, a birthday card for my brother that I wanted her to sign, and a pen.

Sometimes I dread going to see Mom.  Never knowing if I will see that light of recognition in her eyes or will I be a stranger?  Will she ignore me or hug me?  On the days that she does not know me, I don't stay long.  It's not that I want to, but she looses interest and ignores me.  I usually end up talking to the CNA (Certified Nurses Assistant) or watching whatever TV show is on at the moment.

That day, she was sitting at a table, clutching a cup that held the droplets of a Mighty Shake.  She has long since forgotten how to use utensils and her appetite is dropping, but there are these wonderful little high calorie shakes that she loves.  In fact, the nurses that give meds keep an extra one on hand when they go down my mom's section because she likes to sneak one from the med cart.  As I sat down, she was resting her head in her free hand.  I touched her hand, and she opened her eyes, peering at me.  "Hey Momma!  I'm your daughter."  Usually that's how I start and sometimes, after 10-15 minutes she may seem to know I'm someone she should know.

"Oh, it's you!  You're the first," she said referring to birth order, but I'm actually the second.  She looked beautiful in her floral blouse and purple dress pants and it caught me off guard.  She physically reminded me of the old Momma, before this disease took over and I had to fight the tears.  Lindsey, the CNA, had curled her hair and painted her nails a beautiful deep pink earlier.

She tried to make conversation, but the words are just not there.  Her brain, jumbled, only allowed a few words before she got that worried look on her face, and then she saw me.  Her hand lifted, brushing my hair back from my face. There was a light of recognition in her eyes.
 "Where is your husband?"
"He's at home mowing the yard."  She frowns as she tries to process this as she slurped her shake.  She watches as I take a drink of mine.
"What is that" she ask with interest, licking her lips.
"Oh it's a chocolate shake. Why don't you take a drink of yours?"  
A female resident sidles up next to Mom.  "She danced with me today.  She likes Elvis you know."
Do you have a man? Momma questioned.
Yes, I have a husband and kids," I answered pulling out my phone to show her pictures.  Somehow she knows that strange little device holds pictures and ask for it from time to time. I took the opportunity to take a picture of her, selfie style.
"Ew, who is that?", she asked pointing to herself on the screen.
"That's you, Momma.  Don't you look beautiful?"  She frowns. "Can you smile for me?"   She pauses, working her mouth, as if trying to remember how to smile.  Turning her face to me, she smiles and I snap the shot.  I never could get one of her looking straight at the camera. She kept sticking her tongue out at it.

Oh, the card you ask?  I attempted to put the pen in her hand and she fumbled  to grasp it.  The CNA got a scrap piece of paper to practice on.  I wrote the word MOM, so she could copy it, but she could not even do that.  The CNA suggested I do a hand-over-hand writing with her.  Momma asked what was it for and I told her it was for her son.  She looked worried because she didn't remember she had a son.
"I should do something..." she started.
"Oh, you already are!  See, you got this card for him!"

Dinner arrived and I moved her into the kitchen area where she eats, as a fellow resident passed out silverware and drinks.  She has a hard time concentrating when she sits out with the other residents and often, the CNA will feed her and her roommate in there. Veggie Soup and a tuna sandwich!  I couldn't believe it.  The kitchen is supposed to prepare only finger foods for her. Picking up the spoon, I drain as much liquid off and begin feeding her.  This isn't something I ever thought I would do and it wasn't the first time. It's not something I'm comfortable with.  I can feed little kids with no problem, but my brain balks at my momma being so incapacitated that she can't feed herself, nor recognize how to use utensils.  She pokes her finger in her soup and puts it in her mouth. I push the soup a little further away from her and she eyes my chocolate shake as I spoon some carrots into her mouth.  She eats most of it and I try to feed her roommate siting next to me.  She eats some and spits it out, which does this at every meal.  Finally she finishes most of the soup and she spies the sandwich, poking her finger in it and tasting it.  We sit for a while as I feed her bite size pieces of her sandwich. My phone lights up with a message from Honey, and I know I need to head out.  Her night time meds are kicking in and she will be too sleepy to care soon. I pour the rest of my shake into her cup and she grabs it immediately.
"Mmmm, that good,"   closing her eyes in pleasure.  It's the simple things really.

My chair scrapes the floor noisily as I get up and she looks at me with a panic.  "Momma, I have to go."
"Do you want to sleep in my room?" she ask.
"No, I have to get home and get ready for work tomorrow, but I will come back.  I always come back."  She sighs and kisses me with soupy, chocolate lips. I leave the room and she has already forgotten I was there.  I walk to the locked doors with tears pooling in my eyes, forcing myself to not look back....

Please don't get me wrong and say I'm such a good daughter.  I don't see it like that.  I struggle greatly with this disease and all it brings, what it does to the individual and their families.  There are days I know I should go see her and I piddle around, mentally making excuses.  I think of my friend back in KS who has moved in with her mom to care for her, leaving her family home.  I know the struggle she is going through.  It is real, raw, frustrating, heartbreaking, and exhausting.  I know the struggle of another friend whom is Driving hundreds of miles each weekend to be with his mom, as she journeys through this. I see their devotion, heartbreak, and dread.  I think of my cousin, who lost her mom, my aunt to this over seven years ago. I hear the kindness and wisdom in her voice and messages.  I no longer look around the corner to anticipate what is coming next - I can't.  It's one day, one visit, one tear at a time, holding on to any light that may come to her eyes.

Creative play is so....

Is there something that makes you wish you had extra time to do?  Do you lose track of time because you're enjoying it?   If I had a choice, I would stay up most of the night to sew or do embroidery work. It is very relaxing for me and I do my best work at night, plus it's a great time to catch up on Netflix shows.  The house is quiet, no distractions of kids, housework, meals, or the "do-list".  Since Oldest has moved back home for his internship, he has taken over my sewing room and my time is limited there, but I do love it when I'm there.  

Last month I stayed up WAY too late working on some projects and don't regret the hours, though I was in zombie mode the next morning.  

Wallet front

First up, my new wallet.  I never can find one that I just love, so I made my own using a pattern from NapKitten on Etsy.  Though I have been sewing for over 39 years, this pattern was not the easiest to work through.  The instructions were not clear throughout, but after two days, I had a wallet I love!  Using my embroidery machine, I personalized it with Elegant Damask Monogram by Designs by JuJu and have my one-of-a-kind wallet I'm happy to use. It has two zipper pouches, two hidden pockets, 6 credit card size slots, and one could put the check-book in there as well if desired. All-said, I will use this pattern again to make my next wallet, with modifications. Possibly a place to hold a pen?

wallet inside

Wallet outside

back pocket for phone

Card holder

Next up, was a Mega Credit card holder using a pattern by Infarrantly Creative for those loyalty, gift, and other cards. With over 35 slots for cards and a pocket for coupons.  Now before you think I'm rolling in gift  and loyalty cards, I'm not, but I love the extra slots to organize a bit.  It's so much more handy than the tiny pouch I was using previously.

Card holder inside

Boxy Pouch

Each year for Christmas, I try to make something for the momma's whose children I care for during the day.  This year I settled on No Guts Boxy Pouches from Pattern Pile, though there are many different choices.  It was pretty simple once I made the first one and took some notes on my direction print-out.  I was thankful for a colored sewing tutorial to refer to on one section that was a bit muddy, even for me. I use plastic canvas between the lining and outer canvas fabric to help make it more sturdy and hold shape.  Was pleased with each one and would definitely use this pattern many times again. It's so simple that one could change the size a bit to make a larger or smaller pouch easily. 

Personalized

Iphone/Ipad Stand

I did not have a stand to put my phone or iPad on except a flimsy cheap one from Staples (which works fine, but is slips and collapses, but after some searching I found this pattern on Factotum of Arts.  Instruction were simple and it went together quickly.  Filled it with rice and so it could double as a chunky heating pad if needed.  It had a ribbon at the top to hold the cord if charging is needed, but I've not used it yet.  All in all, I use it daily and like it.  I made mine a tad taller to accommodate a tablet.

Elvis Pillow case

Last, I made something for my Momma.  While browsing through Hobby Lobby, I spotted some Elvis material I'd not seen before.  I'm the last person to like Elvis, but my Momma is a HUGE fan.  Her room at the nursing home is filled with Elvis stuff.  I loved how colorful it was and that it had images of his younger years, which would be something my mom was recognize easier.  Pairing it with a bright yellow trim and black-deco for the trimmed cuff, this pillow case was perfect for her room.  She was happy to get it, though she didn't know what it was, the other residents were asking for me to make one for them!

I am really craving more creative sewing time, but home projects and work seems to have occupied me lately.  If I don't have some time soon, I'm going to start dreaming about it or rebel and stay up late again some weekend.  I do have some items for Hubby's nephew's new twins on my table waiting to be finished, but they are a surprise and will have to wait.

Would you care to share what  you like to do to relax?  Garden, reading, sewing, woodwork, cooking (oh, I really do love to cook, but it's just not the same with Only married now), or something else?   I look forward to hearing from you!

Heavy heart

Can I be honest?  I've been struggling for more than a yr. with this, and it's not like I didn't know this was coming, and there are days that I feel so very guilty about feeling inadequate about dealing with this.  This is a first for our family. It seems like there is someone you know that is going through it, but then it happens and suddenly, it happening to you and it's personal. Seems like whatever you are going through, it is now your crisis, your life, your stress, and your time to learn about new  unfamiliar and experiences.  Suddenly, it consumes you - learning, living, loving, losing.

Our family has been through a few events that have challenged us, our faith, and pushed the boundaries.  I'll not make excuses, this rises to the top of those, unequal and equal, strangely in it's own way with the physical and mental tension/strain daily. I'm not sure how cancer, stroke, sudden death, miscarriage, unfaithfulness, losing a parent, moving, or winning the lottery effect the dynamics of a family.  We just know what we've experienced.  Sometimes I feel it consumes us and it scares me.  There are days that I want to have things "normal" - normal marriage, kids, faith, stress, friendships, jobs, evenings, meals... Honey and I would love to go on a date where it's not the whole focus of our conversations or the purpose we are getting out of the house.  Comfortable.  Comfortable doesn't stretch or help us grow, learn, or have the chance to change who we are or how we feel. It makes me uncomfortable with what I see in myself.  It reminds me at times of a childhood experience where I almost drowned - clawing to find my way to the surface, fighting, gasping...  Other times, it reminds me of the joy of watching a young child discover new things and experiences. 

Our family has experienced grace, love, beautiful encouragement and support in many forms.  Thankfully, it takes more than blood to make a family - and we have been surrounded by such a family,  and sometimes God places those we are blood related to, so closely in our lives that are are more like a sibling that have worked beside us in this. God constantly is there.  We know He has never left us and never will.  He knew about this far before we ever were and He knows... He knows when I'm angry, sad, totally overwhelmed, had a good day or felt like I've done battle all day.  He knows when I feel like I can do this or I just want to run away and it's only 9 a.m. and no amount of McDonald's sweet tea will help.  It's what I crave when I feel like detaching and things are out of control. 

I'm really sad about the effect it has on our family dynamics and that our kids are experiencing this first hand. I know this is only a season and we will survive, with much support and love.  Many are praying and ask what they can do, and we honestly don't know.  We are learning as we go.  Wisdom, direction, peace, unity, love, grace, strength, focus, humor...

God, thank you for going before us. Surprise us, and help us to look daily for You.  We can't do this alone

The Yahtzee game

"Come on, let's play Yahtzee"

"But I don't know how," she said with an uncertain and reluctant look on her face.

"It's okay, we'll teach you," I replied as I took her soft hand and lead her to the table where Honey was sitting. "See, here are the dice and we're going to each take one to see who goes first.  Wow, you rolled a five, Honey got a two, and I got a six.  I'll go first and we'll show you what to do."  and our game began slowly as we waited for the others to arrive. She look around, as if trying to find a reason not to play.  Her sister came in the door and watched. 

"Wow! You rolled FIVE 5's!!!  Why don't you roll again to see if you get a Yahtzee?" we encouraged her. She picked up the last dice and let it gently roll out of her hand...  "Wahooo!!!  Look at that!  Another five!  You got a Yahtzee on your first turn"  we cheered!

"But I don't know what to do. What do you do with these things and what is this paper for?"

 "Well, let's count these the dots on the dice and write them down. Each one of these are worth 5.  Can you count by fives with me? I asked.  "Five, ten...."  I finished counting for her and prompted her to write down her Yahtzee score (the counting by fives had nothing to do with her score, but seemed to help).

People started arriving and she looked relieved.  She didn't know who they all were, but it was the interruption she was wanting. She looked at us, as if to ask for permission. We started to pack up the game as Honey commented "This sure is a great time to stop since you're winning!  Let's go see who is here."

This last weekend, Honey and I traveled to a small family reunion for my side of the family and the conversation involved Honey, myself, and my Momma, who so patiently taught me to play Yahtzee growing up. I miss my Momma.

Out of order

 Argh!  Someone forgot to start the dishwasher last night.  Trying to get it done before the girls arrived this morning, I finished loading the last few, put in the Cascade, locked it, and pushed start.  NOTHING!!!  No light, no beep, no "give me a minute, I'm thinking" kinda warning.  I'm a college graduate, daughter to a determined do-it-yourself kinda mom, and mom to three kids, so I do the logical thing and unplug and replug it in.  Granted my knees were screaming at me, and I discovered some creepy things under my sink, but that's another day. 

NOTHING!!!   So like an intelligent person, I stood there in the wee morning hours, and pushed the lifeless buttons again... I know, I know!  I can now assume it's dead for now. No big deal.  Remember I said I needed the dishes done before the girls got there.  Didn't happen.  It took me three sinkfuls of dishwater spread out over three different times during the day to completely empty the dishwasher  and hand wash all the dishes.  My sink was was shiny at the end of the day!  I would love to say I had a ton of time to pray while washing, but I had many little ones clamoring for my attention, and it took me a while.

Finally, during my last sink full of dishes, Youngest came over to rinse his cup out and get a drink. 

"Um, what do I do?" he inquires. 

I Took his cup, washed and rinsed it and gave it to him.

"Um, Mom? Is the dishwasher broke?"  he asks as he is inspecting and drying his clean cup.

"Yes, do you think I love hand washing dishes that were in the dishwasher?" (I wanted to flog him with the dishrag)
Youngest: "well, I just thought you were practicing for our next Boy Scout campout." 
Bwahahahahahaha!!!  I just about laid on the floor and laughed! Leave it to Youngest to find something funny in this.    

  I'm very thankful for hot water and a sink to wash them in. Thankful for dirty dishes - means my family has food to eat and dishes to eat on.Only gave me a sneaky look when she got out he plate for our evening meal, unlike my boys who had used regular dinner plate.  Also thankful I don't have to hand wash all the laundry!  


If you happen to read this post and see my husband, please don't mention it to him.  He doesn't know it's broke.  I mean, it's not an emergency - my hands can still wash dishes, and we have running hot water.  I swore Youngest and Only  to secrecy - just to see how long it will take for Oldest and Honey to figure out the Dishwasher has died.  Maybe I should get some of that yellow CAUTION strips and put across it? Thank they'd notice then? 

Home Ec Supper Project

Today, Only is fixing dinner as pat of her Home Ec. class.  The tantalizing smell of the roast mingles with the bubbling of the broth it is bathed in. Dinner rolls rising on the counter tempt us of what our palate will taste at dinner.  She has done a fine job and I'm sure Honey will be impressed!

As I was coaching her through making yeast dinner rolls for the first time, I had Youngest take over feeding Princess AB and H.  "Hey, Mom makes this look really easy, but it's really HARD!"  I was secretly smiling over that comment.

Only was doing a fantastic job with the rolls, but was unsure about the kneading. After a quick demonstration and I was sure she was doing it correctly, I got back to school with the boys. Pretty soon I heard her mutter, "This is hard work.  Mom makes this look a whole lot easier than it really is."  I was secretly smiling over that comment.

Well, I have some more papers to grade and the girls are waking up from their late afternoon naps. They have been a wrecking crew today!  We'll need a weekend just to recover from them! I hope your weekend is relaxing and I look forward to visiting with you soon. 

Have your kids, family or friends ever said that something you do looks easier to do than it really is? I'd love know more about it if you care to leave me a comment.

UPDATE:  When Honey finally came home for dinner, he had no idea that Only had fixed it.  Her rolls were just as big and fluffy as mine and her roast and potatoes were delirious.  No one died and there were very few leftovers.  I think she is secretly proud of herself and this was a HUGE confidence booster!


ps.  I have been so encouraged by the comments left.  They have cheered me on busy and frantic days, and reading them sure has put a smile on my face more than once!  Thank you!

Feed Me Books Friday for Moms and kids

Since this weekend is Mother's Day, I am following along with many of the book reviews on the Adventures of Motherhood on Feed Me Books Friday and focus on Moms.  Two will be for kids and two will be just for moms.

Let Me Hold You Longer by Karen Kingbury:  While I do not own this book, I have always wanted to buy it.  In this book Kingsbury encourages parents to remember not just the "first" moments of celebrations (first steps, words, reading first book, first day at school, first dance recital or baseball game...), but rather to remember those "lasts" moments as well.  I think the reason this books really speaks to me is that we now have a 16 and 17 yr. old and our time with them is short.  It seemed when they were little, we were so overwhelmed with all the moments and new "adventures" we were dealing with and experiencing that we lived each day/week just trying to make it to the next!  If you get a chance to read this, I can't promise it will make those difficult and "wild" younger years easier, but is does help with a little perspective. 

With the tenderness of a mother speaking directly to her child, Karen reminds us not to miss last days of kindergarten and last at bats in Little League amidst the whirlwind of life.

Harriet, You'll Drive Me Wild! by Mem Fox.  This is a delightful Australian book that we happened upon after two of our kids traveled there as Student Ambassadors a few years ago.  We fell in love with it, but I can so much relate to this Momma frustration as she is having "one of those days" as her young daughter proceeds to knock things over, fidgets, pulls off a tablecloth at lunch, drip paint, and more. While the Mom desperately tries to  handle each even with love and patience, the day wears on and you find her patience very thin as each time the Mom says to child:  "Harriet, my darling child. Harriet, you'll drive me wild.  

 For Moms: Years ago, when Oldest and Only were wee little ones, someone gave me a book that was a tremendous encouragement to me that I wanted to share it with you.  If you were look through my copy of a Focus on the Family book Mom, You're Incredible! by Linda Weber, you would find many underlined passages.  Here are a few of my favorites: 

"Motherhood develops the heart and spirit of our kids; it nurtures self-esteem and emotional security. Kids who had great mothers enjoy self-confidence and a sense of directions for their lives."

 Because mother is like sowing seeds, you often don't see the fruits right away.  It's takes time to reap the reward. There are no guarantees, either.

If you're looking for a book that glowingly talks about how everyday as a Mom is wonderful and there is never any trials, pass this one up. I think it is honest, encouraging, and a spring of refreshment in a dry desert at times.  Here are some of the chapter titles:

• Is There Light at the end of the Tunnel?
• Did you say Just a Mother? 
• Can we Really make a difference?
• Oh, They'll turn out all Right... Won't they?
• How Can the Single Mom Do it?
• But What about Personal Fulfillment?
• What do you say to the Working Mom?
• What do you do when your World falls Apart
• What makes an Incredible Mom? 

The back of the book states:

"A Heartwarming Tribute to Mothers: Motherhood is not an entry-level service position for mindless, insecure, second-class citizens. It is the noblest callings. To be entrusted with the very life, health, and well-being of a tiny human person is a great gift and honor. To realize this small child reflects traits and characteristics of you, your spouse, and your families is a mind-shattering and heart-rending realization. To invest your time and best efforts into a child and to watch him grow, develop, and excel is to be part of the creative majesty of life itself."  Linda Weber

I hope that you'll get the chance to read one of these books from your local church or public library and find that You're absolutely incredible and a treasure to your family!  I would love for you to share what wisdom can you share that has helped you through this adventure called Motherhood. 

Lynnet

Hmmm, You smell....

Last night, as Oldest was fixing a huge bowl of ice cream with sprinkles, I walked in and he grabbed me for a hug. While he was giving me a hug, he hugged me a little tighter and longer.  I just thought he was being serious for a moment... He had done a fantastic job cleaning up the kitchen from a huge lunch and I had told him how much I appreciate it. Maybe it was his Daddy chewing on him a bit to talk a little kinder and he was feeling bad... Whatever the case, I don't get them often.

I should have known because I heard him take a breath... Now I knew I'd had a shower that morning, and I had been cooking and baking most of the late morning.  It was one of those higher energy days since my surgery.  As I pulled away, he held tighter, so I finally poked him in the side - a sure way to loosen the "death grip" he had... It reminded me of Shel Silversteen's "Hug O'War" poem from Where the Sidewalk Ends.

"No wait..."

"What?" I questioned.

"I don't know... You smell...  You smell... Familiar!  That's it!  Something about you smells familiar." 

Thanks Son!  I have to add that this morning, as he was walking out the door on his way to school, he hugged me again and took a deep whiff and left grinning...  

I will not play at tug o' warI'd rather play at hug o' war,Where everyone hugsInstead of tugsWhere everyone gigglesAnd rolls on the rug,Where everyone kissesAnd everyone grinsAnd everyone cuddlesAnd everyone wins.

"Hug O' War" is borrowed from Where the Sidewalk Ends: the poems & drawings of Shel Silverstein, published by Harper & Row Junior Books

Chocolate cake for breakfast

Oldest is now 16 Only made his cake, so keen Momma made the frosting Honey loves the goo on his humble cake too. Youngest got his Twinkie chocolate gives him hives. Christmas Tree is up, cat in tree, decorations still in boxes like forgotten sock Teen watches weather, crushed to school we must slush. Mom contemplates the day and sneaks chocolate cake and milk for breakfast. Wonder what's for lunch?

Lessons learned

Armed with my ads from 3 different stores, Claire and I set off to Dollar Tree and another local discount store. I've been working on a better system for identifying ad matches, coupons, and such, and did a quick review before shutting off the engine. Poor Claire had a look of unrestrained something on her face. "Mom, you're NOT going to Ad match again are you?" Her voice showed the incredulous dismay she felt. Nodding, I opened the door while replying "Yes, won't it be fun!" (I was only kidding about the fun part). I'm sure she was rolling her eyes when she heard this. Something you must know about Claire - she is a saving grace when she goes shopping with her Daddy. He has told me more than once "Is that on the list?" or "Would Mom let us get that?" After pulling out my notebook (for tracking actual prices) and the calculator, we began. In the end, I was hoping that Claire had learned something important about ads and shopping (just becuase it says it's on SALE doesn't mean that it really is and you have to compare prices), but when it came down to it this is what she really learned: "Don't go shopping with Mom!"